Six Months

 

Happy half birthday to our little man! 

Simply put, Spencer is pure delight. He charms the pants off everyone he meets with his smiles, happy coos and sweet personality. He is 22lbs and 71cm of big baby goodness. 

Spencer is cutting two more teeth on the bottom and as a result, puts absolutely everything he can into his mouth. He loves to eat solids and breastfeeds like a champ, but has also given up the bottle temporarily. Spencer is still not much of a roller - he kinda gets stuck on his side - but is working on sitting up. He sleeps 12 hours at night, likes to puts his toes in his mouth and has just discovered a love for soccer balls. 

Spencer, you are a dream. 

The F Word and More

The thing about your second baby is that it is so much easier to see all of the things you did the first time around that didn't work. In our case we are still dealing with some of these things (ahem, sleep).

I am so much more confident as a second time mom and this has made Spencer's babyhood easier and go by more quickly. It helps that Spencer is easy to parent, but I attribute just a little of his 'angel baby' status to our relaxed attitude. There are also a few things I have learned to ease up on these past five months which have made all of our lives just a bit easier.

The F Word

F is for formula and I don't know why I insisted this was evil with Eloise. Actually, I do. The word out there is that 'breast is best' and this is basically forced down the throat of every new mom to the point where we are embarrassed to admit we give our babies formula. Or we make excuses as to why we do it. Even though I wholly believe in breastfeeding and plan to nurse Spencer for as long as I can, it is not such a bad thing for moms to give themselves a break. Sometimes you need a little help from your friends, and this friend is formula.

Tummy Time

Spencer has at least 13 hours of tummy time every day. When he was just a few weeks old I decided to see what would happen if I put him down to nap on his tummy and boom - he slept his first ever four hour long stretch! Since then I have put Spencer to bed on his tummy for naps and at night. He is able to move his head and there are no loose blankets or toys in the crib, so I don't worry about him. Spencer sleeps and we all sleep.

Self Soothing

I wish I had listened when people suggested that I let Eloise learn how to self soothe as an infant. What I confused this with was 'Crying it Out', something I am still not totally comfortable with, when really self soothing isn't about letting children cry themselves to sleep or making themselves sick, but allowing them to fuss and get comfortable in their own way. Another trick is that we put Spencer into his crib awake rather than nursed or rocked to sleep, and though he often fusses, whimper-cries a little, and snarffles a bunch, give him a few minutes and he will be sound asleep. This is his way of self soothing and it means that he can wake in the middle of the night and put himself back to sleep the same way, no boob required.

The Dirty D

I'll admit it, I was a hardcore cloth diaperer with Eloise. It was cloth time all the time, even on vacation. I refused to give up and made myself feel hella guilty when we did use disposable diapers. Spencer is a part-time cloth diapered baby, for a number of reasons. The first is that I have learned that boys wet differently than girls and there are only a select number of diapers in our stash that really work at keeping Spencer dry and we've had no success with cloth at night. The second is that I have a towering pile of around 20 cloth diapers that need to have either the elastic casing or velcro closures - or both - replaced and I have neither the time nor energy to take this project on. I even ordered replacement kits from bumGenius to make the process easier but everything is sitting stashed on a shelf. We have had good success with Earth's Best Tender Care Chlorine Free Diapers, which we can buy at the London Drugs down the street, and at least I feel slightly less guilty that we use a better diaper for both baby and the environment.

Big Sister

My Mom was the one to tell Eloise about her new baby brother and she responded with, "No, I have a baby sister." Fair enough, she had been talking about her baby sister growing in my tummy for the final weeks of my pregnancy so it only made sense that this brother thing would take some getting used to. And even now, if you ask Eloise, "What is your baby brother's name?" she will reply with a very confident, "Audrey." Whoops.  

Once they met for the first time any disappointment at not getting a sister seemed to go out the window. Eloise was instantly smitten. From her first visit to the hospital she could not get enough cuddles with her new baby and gently smothered him in kisses. She wanted to hold him right away and her infatuation has only grown from there. Several times a day Eloise requests to hold Spencer and simply states at him in admiration. These are unbeatably sweet moments. 

Every morning Eloise climbs up beside me in bed and snuggles in as Spencer feeds. She tickles his toes and kisses his head and waits her turn to hold him before we all get up. She even helps out when we do diaper changes and brings Spencer his soother when he fusses. Eloise has never been so excited to go to school as she was that first morning after Spencer was born and share the news of her baby brother with everyone. She beamed with pride when she came home that day to tell me how her friends had all said congratulations.

Eloise is taking her big sister roll seriously and we've noticed some big changes in her over the last week. As she played independently with her toys the other day (which never happens) she announced to Chris and I that she no longer needed to use the potty. Some potty training regression a few months back meant that Eloise would use nothing but her potty so this was huge. She looked at us and said, "I'm a big sister now and I can use the toilet." And she did! 

I really think this big sister thing is a going to work out for Eloise (and us). And maybe, just maybe, as we get Spencer to sleep in his crib for longer stretches of time Eloise will finally want to do the same.

Day Four

I am at day four postpartum and we have been home from the hospital for two days now. Even with the discomfort of my healing abdomen it has been a struggle for me to do nothing but rest while we settle in at home and find a groove for our new family of four. I have been told by my midwives not to do anything in this first week - no outings, not even walks - and Chris and my Mom are on me constantly to go back to bed. Even Eloise seems to grasp that I need time to heal, so really, I am my only adversary.

The biggest difference this time around is that by day four we were just leaving the hospital with Eloise. This means I had had two additional days of monitoring by nurses and more rest with Eloise in the nursery. My Mom keeps reminding me that if I was still at the hospital I'd basically be in bed, so get back in there already! Mom, I promise, I am working on it, it's just hard.

Things are so far going pretty well. Eloise has been a little extra emotional but this is to be expected. Last night she had a full on meltdown as we neared bedtime and would not bathe or even agree to put on her pajamas. She has been in the garden all day with my parents, her hair was a matted mess, her dress grimy and she had dirt up the back of her legs, but it didn't really matter. At that particular moment she just needed to do what she needed to do and her request was to rock on the glider with me and her milk. So we did. Looking down at Eloise I could not believe how huge she felt; she is a fully formed little human who just a few days ago felt small as I carried her around. Now she is a giant compared to her little brother.

Our new bundle, Spencer, is one chill little dude. He has found his lungs but reserves these for diaper changes with Chris. He is eating well although now that my milk has come in I am a little concerned at how much he is getting. It's both good and bad that I don't struggle to produce breast milk but my supply seems to be a little more than his demand and he often chokes while feeding from my fast-flowing let down. I am trying different nursing positions and letting him feed constantly, I just hope he is getting what he needs. Last night he slept for nearly four straight hours, impressive for someone who is just four days old, so I think we're on the right track.

It's a...

When we were sent home from the hospital on Sunday with no conclusive details about my Caesarean for the third day in a row I was done. Done with waiting, done with the emotional roller coaster we have been on and utterly exhausted. The hospital is just five short blocks from home so we chose to walk back and for the remainder of what was a beautiful Mother's Day all I could manage was sleep. My emotions had gotten the best of me. Chris was an amazing support system as always; he took Eloise to Maplewood Farm, to the park, made her a picnic lunch and played with her happily in the garden so I could rest.

I woke up feeling better but famished from yet another day of fasting in preparation for potential of surgery that night. I wasn't hopeful that it would really happen but a few hours of sleep allowed me the energy to venture out into the sunshine. I joined our family in the garden and read, expecting to continue this painful wait for baby for another night but at 4:30 a phone call from labour & delivery informed me to come to the hospital right away, they were ready for me. You had better believe Chris and I soared down the hill to the hospital. 

I was understandably terrified of this C-section but put at ease by the wonderful team around me. My midwife Gill never left my side, the anesthegiologist listened closely to my concerns and helped me feel comfortable and Chris was my rock. This birth was nothing like my first. I wasn't cold and shaking, I didn't feel alone or even that afraid once things had started. I was assured by a very supportive medical team that I was going to do great, and I did. 

At 6:46pm our new bundle came into the world weighing 8lbs 1oz and measuring 53 centimetres. I am amazed at how this long little person fit inside me but it does put into perspective some of the discomfort I felt all those months of my pregnancy. When they pulled the baby out Chris was the one to say, "It's a boy!" and I know he would agree those may just be the best three words he has ever said. 

Our little man is here and he is perfect from tip to toe. He has long legs and even a little chub, proving that the additional three weeks spent in utero were important to his growth. He is so calm that we have heard him cry just once in the delivery room and he is already feeding well. We're very much in love. 

Welcome to the world, Baby. 

2-Day Labour

So basically, it's like I've been in labour for two full days now.

Yesterday I was to be at the hospital for 2pm, bags packed and expect surgery that evening. Nothing. Today my surgery was scheduled for 8am so we were up and out the door before seven to check in and prepare. By 11 o'clock I still waiting to meet with the obstetrician who would be doing my caesarean section but was fully prepped, with Chris and my midwife Jill dressed in scrubs, sitting in a bed in the Labour & Delivery ward. Then nothing.

A nurse came in shortly after this with dry toast and water as I had been preparing for surgery with an empty stomach since last night. The news was that my C-section would not be until late this evening or at the very least midnight. Once we finally had a consultation with the doctor she agreed it best that I head off for a few hours on a discharge pass, then I got the call that things would not happen until tomorrow. I have been bumped off the OR list by emergency surgeries for two days.

For two days now I have been psyching myself up for what I consider a scary operation with an exciting result only to find out that it is not yet happening. The OB even offered to attempt an ECV today so I could try for VBAC but I declined. This baby flipped late in pregnancy, I am already uncomfortable and I don't know if waiting to go into labour naturally at 39 weeks would do me any good anymore, especially with the risk of the baby flipping back and the chance of a C-section anyway if labour doesn't start naturally by next week. As much as I did not want another C-section I am mentally ready for it. I am exhausted from the emotional roller coaster of the past few days and I feel really guilty for wasting two days without Eloise, especially after we keep telling her that the next time we see her she will have a baby brother or sister.

Chris and I left the hospital around Noon. We went for lunch, I came home and took a three hour nap, did some laundry (a task I am finding oddly therapeutic these days) and am just now ready to face my family so we can have a nice dinner together. It could be our last family meal before we bring home our new baby, but who knows, that was the plan last night. I give up, pass the wine.

This Is It

"There is the head," the ultrasound tech confirmed at yet another scan yesterday afternoon. And it is sandwiched between my ribcage.

Sometime in the past few weeks this baby flipped from head down to breech. There is no explanation as to how this happened - I haven't made any changes, I've been taking it very easy, and my stretched belly has little to no room available - and I am completely devastated. Another breech baby, in the footling position no less, means just one thing: another c-section. My dreams for the natural birth I so desperately wanted, and that I so believed in, have been dashed again and at 39 weeks this is it. There is no chance for an external cephalic version or chiropractic methods or acupuncture to try and turn this baby, this is it.

I can't help but feel guilty for being so emotional when the outcome is going to be a perfect, healthy child, but I am. I am also absolutely, positively terrified of going through this serious surgery for a second time. My first experience with a caesarean birth was scary and negative, it was painful and the long recovery was not something I ever wanted to experience again. Worse, I can't help but feel a loss for the natural birth that would have allowed me to have more children the way I have always dreamed of, at home. I feel cheated by my body prepared as it has prepared for labour over the last few weeks, getting heavier and more uncomfortable, starting and stopping contractions, and all the holistic remedies I have been taking in an effort to kick start labour now seem like a waste. I know things will be just fine, I just wanted this birth to be different.

Devastation aside, now we wait to hear if it will be today or tomorrow that our family changes forever as we welcome a new baby into our lives. I am excited to finally meet this little person who has kept me on my toes for months, to give Eloise the sibling she has been waiting for so patiently and to expand our hearts once again with love. This is it.



 

Mother-Daughter Maternity Photos

Mother's Day is this weekend and in celebration, 100 Layer Cakelet is featuring Moms and their babes all week long. Well, I had the opportunity to be one of these Moms as the maternity photoshoot Eloise and I did with Christie Graham Photography a few months ago was featured on the blog yesterday. What a treat!

{100 layer cakelet}

The photos that Christie took are so beautiful and she did so using good old fashioned film, wow! In addition to the ever-talented Christie I want to send a huge thank you to the other people who made this shoot come together so beautifully: Emily Pedlow of Denise Elliott Makeup Artistry for perfect hair & makeup, Christine Lingerie for stunning lingerie, Celsia Floral for ethereal floral crowns and my partner in just about everything, Devon, who came along to help with styling and Eloise-wrangling.

Here are more favourites from the day, what a wonderful memento of this special time in our lives. 

Too Prepared

I've done it to myself and I now know that there is such a thing as being too prepared. Everything from freshly laundered swaddling blankets and sleepers down to sterilized soothers and breast pump is ready and waiting, yet here I sit at 37 weeks, two days (not that I'm counting or anything) pregnant, willing, wishing, praying that this baby makes its entrance very, very soon. We have been ready to go for weeks, as I expected Baby Two to arrive in a timely manner like their sister, but that date has come and gone. A girlfriend brought to my attention that I have never been this pregnant before and I would be lying if I didn't say that the unknown of the next little while leaves me a little uneasy. More than anything I am worried that nearing my due date challenges my ability to have the all-natural, hospital VBAC I so desperately desire.

Since Thursday night I have had three bouts of start and stop contractions. On Friday they were so consistent - though six and seven minutes apart - that I was confident that labour had began and called the midwives for their recommendation of what to do next. Their advice was to sleep on it for as long as I could. If I was actually in labour it was only very early on, so they suggested I take a bath, have some gravol and get some sleep until stronger contractions woke me up again. The bath and gravol were an amazing combination and I woke up at around 3am with slightly stronger, more consistent contractions. Through my excitement I was able to fall back asleep and woke up in the morning to... NOTHING.

All weekend long I have been drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea like a pro, taking long walks and tonight I ate a spicy curry for dinner. They say all of these things (among others) are labour-inducing so I am hopeful. In the meantime my belly just keeps getting harder and larger, it becomes more uncomfortable to walk as the head moves downwards and, as was very evident to passing strangers on the seawall today, I have that classic pregnant lady waddle down pat. 

37 weeks

They say at 37 weeks a baby is full term, and to this I say, "then why on earth is a pregnancy 40 weeks?!"

40 weeks is a long fricken time to be pregnant. Think about it in terms of a year: 40 weeks is basically 10 months, which is more than 304 days and 7, 304.8 hours. The person who coined the term 'nine months pregnant' is a fool. Nine months is only 36 weeks and I passed that mark a week ago. I really do feel for my friends who have been 42 weeks pregnant because that's nearing 11 month territory and that is simply too long. 

In the past week I have noticed changes in my belly, primarily in terms of size. It is wider and lower and all round larger. I have given up on pants (so long maternity jeans!) in favour of leggings and sweats. Everything it too tight and constrictive, even my bras, so I am opting for pajamas as much as I can. Except these are getting too tight as well. 

I know in a few weeks when I am up for feed number four of the night I will long for the days when the baby was still on the inside. But right now I just cannot wait to get out of bed without feeling like I've pulled a muscle or have to pee every 15 minutes. Oh, and that sweet, newborn smell and tiny snuggly body? I cannot wait for that either. 

Not Ready Yet

I have officially reached 36 weeks, which is when Eloise was born. I went into labour naturally with Eloise but since I had no idea what labour was supposed to feel like, and wasn't in any pain, I just went to the hospital that night to make sure all was okay. We brought nothing with us since our visit was just a 'precaution', but Eloise arrived that night (well, at 2:27am). Four days later we left with a tiny baby and a long c-section recovery for me, it was such a whirlwind. 

I half expected this pregnancy to end the same and have been anticipating Baby Two's arrival for weeks. I've blogged about how organized and how prepared we are this time, but it seems my preparations may be a little premature. The baby has definitely dropped, I'm way more uncomfortable and able to sleep less, but Baby seems to be staying put. My midwives don't think I will go all the way to 40 weeks as it's not uncommon for the second baby to come according to when their sibling did, so now we wait. 

Every morning Eloise greets me and then my belly with kisses. "Good morning, baby, you're so big in there," she said this morning. 

"Don't you think the baby should come out now?" I asked. 

"No. Not yet. She's not ready." 

"Really? Mommy is very ready though. This baby just keeps getting bigger and bigger." I said. 

"Not yet, it's not spring." Eloise said. 

Technically, it is spring and has been for a month now. But in rainy Vancouver sunny spring days have been few and far between, so I can understand Eloise's confusion. I'm hoping the Easter Bunny brings a baby instead of chocolate this year. 

Baby Naming with Eloise

We have narrowed it down to our final five baby names - two girls, two boys and a unisex - but the process hasn't been easy. On Saturday, upon waking from a ridiculously long and indulgent family nap, we decided to go through name options once more, this time with Eloise. Starting with A and working through the alphabet it was funny to hear her opinions.

Aaron? "No."

Angus? "That's an old man."

Audrey? "That's my baby's name."

Beau? "I don't."

Benjamin? "Nah."

Blair? "Hmm"

Briar? (Blank stare)

Charles? "Not Charles, what about Christmas?"

Cole? Chris piped in, "I like Cole!

Edward? "The elephant?"

Frank? "No."

Fredrick? "Haha."

George? "That's a pig!"

Georgia? "I like it."

Harry? "Harry's Bucket Full of Dinosaurs is not right."

Harriet? "Franklin's sister?"
Henry? "Hen-ray!"

Hugh? "Yuppa, that's good."

Imogene? "No."

"I like Jackson, do you, Mama?" (I don't)

Jacob? "No."

Kendall? "Barbie's boyfriend?"

Laurence? "No."

Malcolm? "I like it."

Mallory? "That's my big girl best friend." (I have no idea who she means by this)

Mackenzie? "I don't like Mackenzie."

Nora? "Blah!"

Olivia? "She is an oink pig."

Penelope? "Penelope is on of my Barbies." 

Phillip? "Nuh-uh."

Quinn? "No, do you like Quinn, Daddy?"

Ralph? "He's trouble."

Simon? "No."

Spencer? "Not very good."

Theodore? "Umm hmm!"

Violet? "Blah."

Whitney? "Not very good."

Winnie? "Winnie is my friend."

Xavier? "Too many letters."

Zoe? "Zoe is Peppa's friend."

"No more talking, Mama, can we go play Barbies now?"

All Baby

At 35 weeks my big belly is all baby. Legs poke out one side and Baby's back sticks out the other, filling up my tummy in a very Franken-baby manner. It's weird to feel the baby move ever so slightly and see somewhat defined body parts against the stretched skin of my belly. Oh hello foot.

I'm exceptionally tired these days and my productivity has screeched to a snail's pace. It's amazing how hard and uncomfortable normal, everyday things have become. Things like walking, getting out of bed, and sitting at the computer are not easy, sometimes they even hurt. My patience has become more limited but I have been taking lots of deep breaths and reminding myself that this is all a bit hard for Eloise too. I look at it from her perspective: she went from having a mom always going somewhere or doing something to one who is spending a considerable amount of time at home, often sitting down. No doubt my girl has reason to be a little confused and a little testy too. 

I've noticed my body changing over the last few days and it was my mom who pointed out that it looks like Baby has dropped a little. Excellent. I am in no way prepared to be pregnant for another four weeks. This discomfort will only get worse and now that I have had my hair done and my hospital bag is ready to go, Baby come on down. 

Polka Dotty, Realized

Our room for two is finally finished and it's lovely.

Eloise's room, which she will soon share with her new sibling, has been cleared of clutter, cleaned top to bottom, reorganized and redecorated. With the exception of Eloise's bed everything moved around and we now have the room set so that both kids will have their own 'space' (aka sides).

My original vision was for a gender neutral black, white and pale blue room sprinkled with lots of polka dots and I'm quite pleased with how it all came together. I also decided to add in black and cream toile since, why not, and I used toile fabric to make Eloise a new duvet cover and recover a stool. I made a gallery wall above the Expedit (excuse me, Kallax) which holds books and toys in pretty canvas bins, put up a few polka dot pom-poms and am in love with my "piece de resistance", the polka dot wall. At first I thought the polka dots should all be measured out and perfect but then I just decided to wing it and am happy I did. The installation took me all of 20 minutes and the result is GORG. You have to check out Polka Dot Wall Stickers on Etsy, they were inexpensive and work just beautifully (we also used these decals on lampshades for our Kate Spade inspired installation).

The turquoise IKEA Raskog cart is perfect as a diaper caddy and I can't wait to put my new wipes warmer into service (a wipes warmer is seriously my favourite baby gadget). We've stocked up on the cutest newborn diapers from The Honest Company to get us through the first few weeks of poop explosions and all of our Kissaluvs and Bummis covers are washed and ready for use. New soothers have been sterilized, bottles & pump are prepped and baby clothing is washed. We. Are. Ready.

Relax

I am not very good at sitting still, I like to multitask and have become very accustomed to every day being a full day. I'm actually not sure when or how this became 'my way' but I am now so used to doing everything at once that it's taken a stern talking to by my midwife to help me realize that now is the time to relax. "No more work and no more stress," was her message yesterday and this time I heard it loud and clear. I am to rest at home, call on more help with Eloise, and take naps while Baby Two keeps growing for a few more weeks.

Naturally, I find slowing down is easier said than done. Even as I tried to nap this afternoon I found it hard to turn my brain fully off. As I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable (also not easy) all I could concentrate on was what to do about the double-wide tower of shoe boxes lining our window ledge... I did eventually fall asleep for a good hour but it took a while to get me there. If it wasn't for my parents' continuous assistance with Eloise and persistence when it comes to me taking a nap in the afternoons it wouldn't happen. Perhaps my real problem comes with relinquishing control and asking for help but I am realizing that now is the time to do so. This is the calm before the storm and if I have just a few more weeks left to relax I'd better enjoy it.

Baby Prep

I'm a big list maker. Spelling everything out on paper helps me to see exactly what needs to be done and I do this pretty much daily in my personal and professional life in order to organize my time. Before Baby Two arrives we have been chipping away at our Baby Prep list. It's a long one, and though there are a number of items listed that seemingly have no relation to baby, I have a sneaking suspicion that if they aren't completed now it's going to be a long time before we get to them again. 

Thankfully more time at home means that we've slowly been checking things off. While my dad and Chris tackled the garage a few weekends ago I finally reorganized Eloise & Baby's closet, moved un-needed furniture out of their bedroom, sorted and organized my crafts and even made some much needed changes to my Monica Closet. I've filled holes in walls, primed and painted, assisted Chris to install a pretty new curtain rod and drapes in our bedroom and am just about to whip up a new bed skirt for us and a duvet cover for Eloise. This coming weekend we'll hopefully finish prepping Eloise's room for Baby by bringing down the crib, de-pinkifying and putting up a gallery wall.

It's all coming together and the best part is, we're only five items away from a fully checked off list. 

Head Down

I think we've confused Eloise a little when it comes to pregnancy. When we ask her if she thinks the new baby will be her brother or sister her answer is, "You're going to have a baby brother and I'm going to have a sister."

You see, Eloise's current understanding of pregnancy means that she thinks her round toddler belly is housing a growing baby just like my round belly. She lifts up her shirt to compare our baby bumps, talks to strangers about the baby growing in her tummy - "You know, I have a baby in my belly." - and likes that our belly buttons look remarkably similar (she has a natural outie, mine is basically just inside out). The biggest difference in our pregnancies is that according to Eloise her baby is going to walk out (just like that!).

With all of our talk about Baby Two's position and all the extra ultrasounds and appointments I've had in the process, it's no wonder that Eloise is starting to make her own judgement call as to how she is carrying the 'baby' in her belly. "Your baby is head down, Mama, mine is head up. It likes it like that." Maybe that makes it easier for baby to walk out?

Today I had yet another ultrasound and finally we got the news we've been waiting for: Baby Two is head down and expected to stay that way! The big lump of baby I can feel on the front right of my belly is the spine and bum, the constant movement on my left side are the legs and feet, and Baby is lying on their left side with their head down. I almost cried when the ultrasound technician confirmed this position today as it means that my chances of a natural delivery much likelier. Call it stroke of luck or my positive thinking paying off, with the head down things are looking up.

The Ups and Downs of Being Pregnant

There are some things that go along with pregnancy that aren't great, such as having to pee every 45 minutes, how it feels as your pelvis widens, and lots of back pain. Then there are some very nice things, like how healthy your hair and nails become and a little extra fullness up top.

I hate to be a complainer, but it's my blog and I'll complain if I want to. This pregnancy has not been super awesome for me. It's like everything has been the pretty much the same as the first time, but amplified ten fold. I was sicker for longer in my first trimester, I've had more discomfort in my ribs and back, my heartburn has been more aggressive and due to my general increase in size, I've just been more uncomfortable. I've also noticed things that I didn't when I was pregnant the first time, like the aforementioned pelvis widening and general discomfort as things stretch out. And this time around I'm waddling.

I am just about at the 32 week mark and blissfully in the home stretch even though my due date still seems like it's light years away. However, using Eloise as a guide, I could be just a month away from freeing myself from this pregnancy and more importantly, finally meeting this baby. It really does seem like I've been pregnant for forever and let me tell you, I really appreciate when people see me and say, "You're STILL pregnant?!" Yes I am, thanks for rubbing it in. And if I go full term I still have to endure another two months.

Breech or Not

I had another ultrasound last week that confirmed the breech position of this baby. Damn.

Right away I took to researching all sorts of ways to help breech babies turn but apart from thinking positively - "I will have a natural delivery, I will have a natural delivery." - I wanted to wait to see my midwife this week for her guidance. As I've said I am open to whatever needs to be done to get this baby head down, but at the same time I am also starting to think about the possibility of another caesarean and how I can turn it into a positive experience (read: lots of drugs).

Today, however, I received wonderful news that the baby has moved since last week and the head is now very down! This is not to say that it will stay this way but I am hopeful, and who knows, maybe my positive thinking is working? I'll continue repeating my nightly mantra:

"Move head down, move head down, in my woo-oomb." Followed by, "I will have a natural delivery, I will have a natural delivery, I will have a natural delivery."

OMMMM....

Me at 29 Weeks

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of modeling for a photographer I love to work with, Christie Graham. Christie had asked me months ago if she could do a maternity boudoir shoot with me for hopeful publication and I had no reason but to say yes. Her work is spectacular - so ethereal and clean - and her plan to photograph the shoot with film was pretty special.

As planners do, Devon and I decided to make more of a thing out of this little shoot and pulled together some of our favourite vendors (aka Celsia Floral & Denise Elliott Makeup Artistry) as well as an amazing lingerie contributor. Eloise took part in the shoot too and although I haven't seen all of the photos, the sneak peek Christie shared is pretty darn gorgeous, if I do say so myself (I do).

What a beautiful memento of me at 29 weeks.