It's a...

When we were sent home from the hospital on Sunday with no conclusive details about my Caesarean for the third day in a row I was done. Done with waiting, done with the emotional roller coaster we have been on and utterly exhausted. The hospital is just five short blocks from home so we chose to walk back and for the remainder of what was a beautiful Mother's Day all I could manage was sleep. My emotions had gotten the best of me. Chris was an amazing support system as always; he took Eloise to Maplewood Farm, to the park, made her a picnic lunch and played with her happily in the garden so I could rest.

I woke up feeling better but famished from yet another day of fasting in preparation for potential of surgery that night. I wasn't hopeful that it would really happen but a few hours of sleep allowed me the energy to venture out into the sunshine. I joined our family in the garden and read, expecting to continue this painful wait for baby for another night but at 4:30 a phone call from labour & delivery informed me to come to the hospital right away, they were ready for me. You had better believe Chris and I soared down the hill to the hospital. 

I was understandably terrified of this C-section but put at ease by the wonderful team around me. My midwife Gill never left my side, the anesthegiologist listened closely to my concerns and helped me feel comfortable and Chris was my rock. This birth was nothing like my first. I wasn't cold and shaking, I didn't feel alone or even that afraid once things had started. I was assured by a very supportive medical team that I was going to do great, and I did. 

At 6:46pm our new bundle came into the world weighing 8lbs 1oz and measuring 53 centimetres. I am amazed at how this long little person fit inside me but it does put into perspective some of the discomfort I felt all those months of my pregnancy. When they pulled the baby out Chris was the one to say, "It's a boy!" and I know he would agree those may just be the best three words he has ever said. 

Our little man is here and he is perfect from tip to toe. He has long legs and even a little chub, proving that the additional three weeks spent in utero were important to his growth. He is so calm that we have heard him cry just once in the delivery room and he is already feeding well. We're very much in love. 

Welcome to the world, Baby. 

2-Day Labour

So basically, it's like I've been in labour for two full days now.

Yesterday I was to be at the hospital for 2pm, bags packed and expect surgery that evening. Nothing. Today my surgery was scheduled for 8am so we were up and out the door before seven to check in and prepare. By 11 o'clock I still waiting to meet with the obstetrician who would be doing my caesarean section but was fully prepped, with Chris and my midwife Jill dressed in scrubs, sitting in a bed in the Labour & Delivery ward. Then nothing.

A nurse came in shortly after this with dry toast and water as I had been preparing for surgery with an empty stomach since last night. The news was that my C-section would not be until late this evening or at the very least midnight. Once we finally had a consultation with the doctor she agreed it best that I head off for a few hours on a discharge pass, then I got the call that things would not happen until tomorrow. I have been bumped off the OR list by emergency surgeries for two days.

For two days now I have been psyching myself up for what I consider a scary operation with an exciting result only to find out that it is not yet happening. The OB even offered to attempt an ECV today so I could try for VBAC but I declined. This baby flipped late in pregnancy, I am already uncomfortable and I don't know if waiting to go into labour naturally at 39 weeks would do me any good anymore, especially with the risk of the baby flipping back and the chance of a C-section anyway if labour doesn't start naturally by next week. As much as I did not want another C-section I am mentally ready for it. I am exhausted from the emotional roller coaster of the past few days and I feel really guilty for wasting two days without Eloise, especially after we keep telling her that the next time we see her she will have a baby brother or sister.

Chris and I left the hospital around Noon. We went for lunch, I came home and took a three hour nap, did some laundry (a task I am finding oddly therapeutic these days) and am just now ready to face my family so we can have a nice dinner together. It could be our last family meal before we bring home our new baby, but who knows, that was the plan last night. I give up, pass the wine.

This Is It

"There is the head," the ultrasound tech confirmed at yet another scan yesterday afternoon. And it is sandwiched between my ribcage.

Sometime in the past few weeks this baby flipped from head down to breech. There is no explanation as to how this happened - I haven't made any changes, I've been taking it very easy, and my stretched belly has little to no room available - and I am completely devastated. Another breech baby, in the footling position no less, means just one thing: another c-section. My dreams for the natural birth I so desperately wanted, and that I so believed in, have been dashed again and at 39 weeks this is it. There is no chance for an external cephalic version or chiropractic methods or acupuncture to try and turn this baby, this is it.

I can't help but feel guilty for being so emotional when the outcome is going to be a perfect, healthy child, but I am. I am also absolutely, positively terrified of going through this serious surgery for a second time. My first experience with a caesarean birth was scary and negative, it was painful and the long recovery was not something I ever wanted to experience again. Worse, I can't help but feel a loss for the natural birth that would have allowed me to have more children the way I have always dreamed of, at home. I feel cheated by my body prepared as it has prepared for labour over the last few weeks, getting heavier and more uncomfortable, starting and stopping contractions, and all the holistic remedies I have been taking in an effort to kick start labour now seem like a waste. I know things will be just fine, I just wanted this birth to be different.

Devastation aside, now we wait to hear if it will be today or tomorrow that our family changes forever as we welcome a new baby into our lives. I am excited to finally meet this little person who has kept me on my toes for months, to give Eloise the sibling she has been waiting for so patiently and to expand our hearts once again with love. This is it.



 

Mother-Daughter Maternity Photos

Mother's Day is this weekend and in celebration, 100 Layer Cakelet is featuring Moms and their babes all week long. Well, I had the opportunity to be one of these Moms as the maternity photoshoot Eloise and I did with Christie Graham Photography a few months ago was featured on the blog yesterday. What a treat!

{100 layer cakelet}

The photos that Christie took are so beautiful and she did so using good old fashioned film, wow! In addition to the ever-talented Christie I want to send a huge thank you to the other people who made this shoot come together so beautifully: Emily Pedlow of Denise Elliott Makeup Artistry for perfect hair & makeup, Christine Lingerie for stunning lingerie, Celsia Floral for ethereal floral crowns and my partner in just about everything, Devon, who came along to help with styling and Eloise-wrangling.

Here are more favourites from the day, what a wonderful memento of this special time in our lives. 

Too Prepared

I've done it to myself and I now know that there is such a thing as being too prepared. Everything from freshly laundered swaddling blankets and sleepers down to sterilized soothers and breast pump is ready and waiting, yet here I sit at 37 weeks, two days (not that I'm counting or anything) pregnant, willing, wishing, praying that this baby makes its entrance very, very soon. We have been ready to go for weeks, as I expected Baby Two to arrive in a timely manner like their sister, but that date has come and gone. A girlfriend brought to my attention that I have never been this pregnant before and I would be lying if I didn't say that the unknown of the next little while leaves me a little uneasy. More than anything I am worried that nearing my due date challenges my ability to have the all-natural, hospital VBAC I so desperately desire.

Since Thursday night I have had three bouts of start and stop contractions. On Friday they were so consistent - though six and seven minutes apart - that I was confident that labour had began and called the midwives for their recommendation of what to do next. Their advice was to sleep on it for as long as I could. If I was actually in labour it was only very early on, so they suggested I take a bath, have some gravol and get some sleep until stronger contractions woke me up again. The bath and gravol were an amazing combination and I woke up at around 3am with slightly stronger, more consistent contractions. Through my excitement I was able to fall back asleep and woke up in the morning to... NOTHING.

All weekend long I have been drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea like a pro, taking long walks and tonight I ate a spicy curry for dinner. They say all of these things (among others) are labour-inducing so I am hopeful. In the meantime my belly just keeps getting harder and larger, it becomes more uncomfortable to walk as the head moves downwards and, as was very evident to passing strangers on the seawall today, I have that classic pregnant lady waddle down pat. 

37 weeks

They say at 37 weeks a baby is full term, and to this I say, "then why on earth is a pregnancy 40 weeks?!"

40 weeks is a long fricken time to be pregnant. Think about it in terms of a year: 40 weeks is basically 10 months, which is more than 304 days and 7, 304.8 hours. The person who coined the term 'nine months pregnant' is a fool. Nine months is only 36 weeks and I passed that mark a week ago. I really do feel for my friends who have been 42 weeks pregnant because that's nearing 11 month territory and that is simply too long. 

In the past week I have noticed changes in my belly, primarily in terms of size. It is wider and lower and all round larger. I have given up on pants (so long maternity jeans!) in favour of leggings and sweats. Everything it too tight and constrictive, even my bras, so I am opting for pajamas as much as I can. Except these are getting too tight as well. 

I know in a few weeks when I am up for feed number four of the night I will long for the days when the baby was still on the inside. But right now I just cannot wait to get out of bed without feeling like I've pulled a muscle or have to pee every 15 minutes. Oh, and that sweet, newborn smell and tiny snuggly body? I cannot wait for that either. 

Not Ready Yet

I have officially reached 36 weeks, which is when Eloise was born. I went into labour naturally with Eloise but since I had no idea what labour was supposed to feel like, and wasn't in any pain, I just went to the hospital that night to make sure all was okay. We brought nothing with us since our visit was just a 'precaution', but Eloise arrived that night (well, at 2:27am). Four days later we left with a tiny baby and a long c-section recovery for me, it was such a whirlwind. 

I half expected this pregnancy to end the same and have been anticipating Baby Two's arrival for weeks. I've blogged about how organized and how prepared we are this time, but it seems my preparations may be a little premature. The baby has definitely dropped, I'm way more uncomfortable and able to sleep less, but Baby seems to be staying put. My midwives don't think I will go all the way to 40 weeks as it's not uncommon for the second baby to come according to when their sibling did, so now we wait. 

Every morning Eloise greets me and then my belly with kisses. "Good morning, baby, you're so big in there," she said this morning. 

"Don't you think the baby should come out now?" I asked. 

"No. Not yet. She's not ready." 

"Really? Mommy is very ready though. This baby just keeps getting bigger and bigger." I said. 

"Not yet, it's not spring." Eloise said. 

Technically, it is spring and has been for a month now. But in rainy Vancouver sunny spring days have been few and far between, so I can understand Eloise's confusion. I'm hoping the Easter Bunny brings a baby instead of chocolate this year. 

All Baby

At 35 weeks my big belly is all baby. Legs poke out one side and Baby's back sticks out the other, filling up my tummy in a very Franken-baby manner. It's weird to feel the baby move ever so slightly and see somewhat defined body parts against the stretched skin of my belly. Oh hello foot.

I'm exceptionally tired these days and my productivity has screeched to a snail's pace. It's amazing how hard and uncomfortable normal, everyday things have become. Things like walking, getting out of bed, and sitting at the computer are not easy, sometimes they even hurt. My patience has become more limited but I have been taking lots of deep breaths and reminding myself that this is all a bit hard for Eloise too. I look at it from her perspective: she went from having a mom always going somewhere or doing something to one who is spending a considerable amount of time at home, often sitting down. No doubt my girl has reason to be a little confused and a little testy too. 

I've noticed my body changing over the last few days and it was my mom who pointed out that it looks like Baby has dropped a little. Excellent. I am in no way prepared to be pregnant for another four weeks. This discomfort will only get worse and now that I have had my hair done and my hospital bag is ready to go, Baby come on down. 

Relax

I am not very good at sitting still, I like to multitask and have become very accustomed to every day being a full day. I'm actually not sure when or how this became 'my way' but I am now so used to doing everything at once that it's taken a stern talking to by my midwife to help me realize that now is the time to relax. "No more work and no more stress," was her message yesterday and this time I heard it loud and clear. I am to rest at home, call on more help with Eloise, and take naps while Baby Two keeps growing for a few more weeks.

Naturally, I find slowing down is easier said than done. Even as I tried to nap this afternoon I found it hard to turn my brain fully off. As I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable (also not easy) all I could concentrate on was what to do about the double-wide tower of shoe boxes lining our window ledge... I did eventually fall asleep for a good hour but it took a while to get me there. If it wasn't for my parents' continuous assistance with Eloise and persistence when it comes to me taking a nap in the afternoons it wouldn't happen. Perhaps my real problem comes with relinquishing control and asking for help but I am realizing that now is the time to do so. This is the calm before the storm and if I have just a few more weeks left to relax I'd better enjoy it.

Head Down

I think we've confused Eloise a little when it comes to pregnancy. When we ask her if she thinks the new baby will be her brother or sister her answer is, "You're going to have a baby brother and I'm going to have a sister."

You see, Eloise's current understanding of pregnancy means that she thinks her round toddler belly is housing a growing baby just like my round belly. She lifts up her shirt to compare our baby bumps, talks to strangers about the baby growing in her tummy - "You know, I have a baby in my belly." - and likes that our belly buttons look remarkably similar (she has a natural outie, mine is basically just inside out). The biggest difference in our pregnancies is that according to Eloise her baby is going to walk out (just like that!).

With all of our talk about Baby Two's position and all the extra ultrasounds and appointments I've had in the process, it's no wonder that Eloise is starting to make her own judgement call as to how she is carrying the 'baby' in her belly. "Your baby is head down, Mama, mine is head up. It likes it like that." Maybe that makes it easier for baby to walk out?

Today I had yet another ultrasound and finally we got the news we've been waiting for: Baby Two is head down and expected to stay that way! The big lump of baby I can feel on the front right of my belly is the spine and bum, the constant movement on my left side are the legs and feet, and Baby is lying on their left side with their head down. I almost cried when the ultrasound technician confirmed this position today as it means that my chances of a natural delivery much likelier. Call it stroke of luck or my positive thinking paying off, with the head down things are looking up.

Every Day I'm Hustlin'

{designs by maria}

Until last week I cared for Eloise, kept up with my growing business, ran a tight ship around the house, looked after another (very) busy child, met with clients, took on creative projects and even managed to fit in work outs. Everyday I was hustling.

Last week marked the first in a long time that I've woken up without feeling mildly panicked at how to accomplish everything I need/want to in a day. I didn't rush anywhere or get flustered, I wasn't frustrated, didn't yell or lose my patience. Last week I took it slow, really enjoyed my time with Eloise, caught up with friends and worked, all quite seamlessly. With the Baby in a head down position now (or so we hope) I have been advised to stop working out in the hopes of maintaining this optimal position for delivery. My midwife has actually demanded that I become a 'couch potato' but walks on the sea wall are still permitted. That I can do.

More time has allowed me to take a good look at what my hustle has accomplished since Smitten officially launched in November. I can also see the reason this pregnancy has been so challenging - I have not had, nor taken, the time to slow down. Shifting my focus to my family and Smitten means that things are changing for the better, even if I will still be a tired, grumpy pregnant lady for a few more weeks (at which point I become a tired, but happy, new mom of two). 

If I've learned anything in the last several months it's that there is no slowing me down, eight months pregnant or not. Here's a snippet of some serious Smitten hustle:

We produced a New Year's Eve wedding creative.

Planned a romantic wedding proposal.

Created the decor and styled a Star Wars themed Baby Shower.

Designed a Bat Mitzvah candy bar, complete with a marquee 'L'.

Showcased a table with our favourite 2014 Pantone colours, Dazzling Blue & Cayenne.

And put together the best birthday party these eight year olds will ever attend.

The Ups and Downs of Being Pregnant

There are some things that go along with pregnancy that aren't great, such as having to pee every 45 minutes, how it feels as your pelvis widens, and lots of back pain. Then there are some very nice things, like how healthy your hair and nails become and a little extra fullness up top.

I hate to be a complainer, but it's my blog and I'll complain if I want to. This pregnancy has not been super awesome for me. It's like everything has been the pretty much the same as the first time, but amplified ten fold. I was sicker for longer in my first trimester, I've had more discomfort in my ribs and back, my heartburn has been more aggressive and due to my general increase in size, I've just been more uncomfortable. I've also noticed things that I didn't when I was pregnant the first time, like the aforementioned pelvis widening and general discomfort as things stretch out. And this time around I'm waddling.

I am just about at the 32 week mark and blissfully in the home stretch even though my due date still seems like it's light years away. However, using Eloise as a guide, I could be just a month away from freeing myself from this pregnancy and more importantly, finally meeting this baby. It really does seem like I've been pregnant for forever and let me tell you, I really appreciate when people see me and say, "You're STILL pregnant?!" Yes I am, thanks for rubbing it in. And if I go full term I still have to endure another two months.

Breech or Not

I had another ultrasound last week that confirmed the breech position of this baby. Damn.

Right away I took to researching all sorts of ways to help breech babies turn but apart from thinking positively - "I will have a natural delivery, I will have a natural delivery." - I wanted to wait to see my midwife this week for her guidance. As I've said I am open to whatever needs to be done to get this baby head down, but at the same time I am also starting to think about the possibility of another caesarean and how I can turn it into a positive experience (read: lots of drugs).

Today, however, I received wonderful news that the baby has moved since last week and the head is now very down! This is not to say that it will stay this way but I am hopeful, and who knows, maybe my positive thinking is working? I'll continue repeating my nightly mantra:

"Move head down, move head down, in my woo-oomb." Followed by, "I will have a natural delivery, I will have a natural delivery, I will have a natural delivery."

OMMMM....

Me at 29 Weeks

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of modeling for a photographer I love to work with, Christie Graham. Christie had asked me months ago if she could do a maternity boudoir shoot with me for hopeful publication and I had no reason but to say yes. Her work is spectacular - so ethereal and clean - and her plan to photograph the shoot with film was pretty special.

As planners do, Devon and I decided to make more of a thing out of this little shoot and pulled together some of our favourite vendors (aka Celsia Floral & Denise Elliott Makeup Artistry) as well as an amazing lingerie contributor. Eloise took part in the shoot too and although I haven't seen all of the photos, the sneak peek Christie shared is pretty darn gorgeous, if I do say so myself (I do).

What a beautiful memento of me at 29 weeks.

My Final Day

Today marks the last day of my time looking after Molly, a little girl who has become like a daughter to me since I started caring for her when she was not much older than Eloise. Molly just celebrated her eighth birthday (with a party planned by Smitten, of course!) and as we near closer to welcoming our new baby the time has come for me to move on. Eloise is going to miss seeing Molly, her 'bonus' big sister, at least twice a week, but I know we will always be a part of each others lives. The need for me to shift the focus to my family and business has been building for a long while now but it's been really hard to actually say goodbye to a child I love so much. 

The end of my days with Molly comes at a good time in my pregnancy. I'm now 31 weeks pregnant, super uncomfortable and starting to feel anxious about this baby's arrival. Upon reaching week 30 the panic of getting organized started to set in. Panic might be a little drastic a word, but I am reminded that when Eloise was born at 36 weeks we were pretty unprepared. We had a car seat, but it's not like we bothered to bring it with us to the hospital, I didn't even bring a bra! This time around the hospital bag for baby and me will be packed and ready to go with time to spare (is next week too soon?). I am gearing up to complete a long list of baby-related tasks and this weekend we will finally start to work on converting Eloise's room into a space for two. So that's progress!

It may take some time to get used to afternoons free from school pick up and dance class, play dates and errands for someone else's family, but I know I am going to relish in my time to do things just for us (like nap!) while I can.  Life is about to get a whole lot busier. 

No Name

We've really been struggling with a name for this new person joining us soon. Chris and I both have names we like, but we're still ultimately undecided. For whatever reason I find myself feeling a anxious about this. I suppose it's because by this stage in my first pregnancy we had committed to three options for a girl and three for a boy. This time we can't even bring ourselves to decide on one of each. 

All of our options aside, before Eloise was born we were pretty set on naming her Pippa, short for Phillipa, after Chris' dear grandpa, Phil. But once Eloise arrived we knew that this was not her name and she remained nameless for the first two days as we got to know her. Eloise was a name on my list but wasn't one of Chris' favourites, yet after meeting her we both agreed the name suited our sweet, tiny little girl and I'm happy to say it still does. 

I'm a believer in name associations and I do think certain names have certain traits. Take Eloise for example. I'll be the first to admit that naming our daughter after a fictional, precocious six year old may have set us up for a little trouble. Our Eloise certainly shares some of the same naughtiness as her literary name buddy but she manages to make up for it with sweetness (most of the time). Name associations have also created an extensive veto list and Chris and I both have various reasons as to why a particular name is a no go. Take the name Sterling for example, which I love for a boy. Chris went to school with a Sterling who he claims was a wiener. Chris loves the name Oscar, all I can think about is a green monster in a trash can. My suggestion of the name Violet was vetoed because Chris doesn't want our daughter sharing a name with a flower and as charming and French as it is, Chris' pick, Colette, just says old lady to me. 

In the midst of this, I've misplaced the really awesome name book we have so we'll just have to continue tossing names back and forth until a few more stick. Until then, this is just Baby 2. 

Heart Burn

It's back. The screaming heartburn I experienced in my first pregnancy has returned and it is so much worse.

This afternoon all I wanted was a Whole Foods muffin and a latte which is pretty much my favourite three o'clock pick me up. Unfortunately I've been paying for my brief afternoon enjoyment all night with heartburn so unbearably bad it made me sick to my stomach. Seriously, when all you want to eat is carbs (and have a multi-week pass to do so) how on earth is this fair?

For dinner tonight I had a banana, two bowls of greek yogurt and some vanilla ice cream. I didn't quite reach all the food groups I've been trying to consume, but my heartburn has subsided and for that I am very thankful. So thankful I may just have to have another bowl of ice cream, you know, as a preventative measure.

The Right Way Down

I've mentioned my fairly consistent discomfort during this pregnancy and it occurred to me as I was lying on the couch with a heat pack to my sore ribs, again, that there are some major similarities to how I felt near the end of my pregnancy with Eloise. As I prodded around my belly trying to locate the baby's head down low I came up with what felt more like a bum, an obvious explanation of how it can feel like something is running on my bladder and bruising my ribs at the same time. I shared these concerns with my midwife at my last appointment and she confirmed that my fears could be correct and that this baby may be breech just like their sister was. I'm scheduled to go in for an ultrasound in a few weeks to confirm the position and if breech is the case I will be doing everything I can to get this baby head down.

When it comes to birth I have never been afraid. I have a strong belief in the process and in the natural abilities of my body. I am, however, terrified of having another caesarian section. My experience with Eloise's birth was not positive, it was scary. I had a pompous a**hole of an operating OB and as I had never experienced anesthesia of any sort before I was completely unaware of how my body would react. By the time I reached the operating room I was shaking in fear and my fears proved true as my spinal started to wear off around the time they pulled Eloise out. The pain was starting to become unbearable so once I saw Eloise and knew she was okay I gave the anesthesiologist the go ahead to put me under a general anesthetic and woke up in recovery a few hours later, still completely doped. The truth is, I don't remember a whole lot about those first 12 hours and it scares me to think about the same thing happening for a second time. Safety is always first, but it will take a lot of convincing and some pretty awesome medication to get me to the point of being comfortable having another c-section. 

Thankfully time is still on my side. In the last few days I have had a ton of movement but no rib pain which I can only hope means that baby is in the process of getting cozy with their head down. If the ultrasound confirms a breech baby I really will try everything: external cephalic version, acupuncture, head stands, moxabustion, voodoo, hell, give me all of it, I want this kid the right way down.

Flower Crib

Twice this week Eloise has requested to sleep in her 'flower crib', otherwise known as the pack n' play we have not used for easily a year and a half. The first time she mentioned it it was just a question, "Mama, where did my flower crib go?" and I explained that it was put away, waiting for the next baby to use it. But as we neared closer to bedtime Eloise kept bringing the crib up and asking to sleep in there, which I found a little odd. Weirdness aside, I decided there really was no harm in it and set the crib up in her room, Eloise climbed in and basically went right to sleep. But just as I was gearing up for the possibility of a full night's sleep (you never know!) we awoke to a distraught Eloise who had peed the bed. An accident at night hasn't happened for at least six months so I'm going to chalk the whole thing up to simply a regressive moment. 

Tonight Eloise requested the flower crib again and since I couldn't really come up with a reason why not - she even did an extra pee before settling in - she is curled up in there with a selection of peeps and cozies. I will admit that we've not been very strict with eliminating 'baby' things - Eloise still has a nightly bottle of milk and prefers to use the potty at home rather than the toilet - but she has also been instrumental in trying to get US understand that she is no longer a baby but a big girl. She wanted out of her crib and we made the easy transition to a twin bed over a year ago, she gets her own cups and plates out for mealtimes, she helps with little chores around the house and is in the process of learning how to dress herself.

I am assuming Eloise's desire to be a baby right now has to do with the coming changes of our growing family. Eloise can see my growing body and listens as we talk about moving things around in her room, car seats and soothers and wipes warmers, whether we should get a double stroller and on and on, so I know she understands that changes are coming, and soon. Sleeping in the confinements of a crib must be her way of staying the baby for a just little longer.

Stomach Bug

Tonight is the first time since Saturday afternoon that I have really been able to eat anything of substance. Up until now I've been alternating between water, ginger ale and applesauce as I willed my stomach to stop churning at the thought of anything more than liquids. 

I had an intense stomach bug this weekend which is no good at any time, but particularly horrid when you're pregnant. (Though I'm beginning to think everything is just that much worse when you're pregnant). Any energy I had saved up in my body went right to the baby, which made me feel a lot less worse for not being able to eat anything, and then just a lot worse. Chris was amazing and gave me lots of time to sleep and tonight I am finally feeling a more like myself. The nausea has been replaced by super gross heartburn but you know what, I'll take it.

The one thing I noticed about being sick this weekend is how attentive Granby was; he never left my side. Every time I woke up in the middle of the night he was right there, otherwise he stayed in his bed until I came out of mine. When I woke at 4am this morning for ginger ale he followed me out of the bedroom and watched tv with me until I finished. He hasn't been more than six feet away from me for three days, and as I write this he's sitting at my feet. For all of his annoying neediness, Granby was here for me whether I thought I needed it or not. This dog is something else.