There are hundreds reasons why I have more or less given up on blogging these days. There is the one year old currently climbing my leg screeching at me to pick him up, water dripping from his nose down to his knees from a recent splash in the dog's water. He has dozens of small pieces of shredded toilet paper stuck to him, and upon a closer look I can see that tiny bits of TP make a trail down the hall from the bathroom. There is the four year old who has said "Mama?" approximately 127 times since waking up this morning, asking incessantly when she can watch tv, why she cannot watch tv right now and how long it will be before she can watch tv. And if she can't watch tv, then what else can she possibly do? There is the dog who waits until the exact moment I sit down at the computer to email a client to require a water refill, then whine at the door to go out, only to bark at the door to come in and then whine at his bowl for more water.
There are the snacks, so many snacks. And breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And the cleaning up of the snacks and the breakfasts, lunches and dinners. It's no wonder I find myself existing on leftovers and bananas: no prep or clean up required. And there is laundry, mountains of it, so much that Eloise recently saw the bottom of hamper for the first time and exclaimed, "wow, I never knew there was an end!" There is a sticky residue that dusts my white kitchen cabinets and I am constantly wiping splatters of smoothie from the walls and ceiling (seriously, how did that get THERE?). And even though the dog does an excellent job catching bits during meal time, there are crumbs everywhere. Where does all the dust come from? How can it be time to clean the bathroom again? How is it possible for the glass in the front door to be that dirty? Yet I still have this unrealistic dream that my house can be company ready at all times.
Then there is my work, so much work and so little time. My inbox is constantly clogged with flagged emails requiring immediate replies but I am learning that working from home while having a mobile baby and busy child is not compatible. When they are up, they are ON and Spencer especially requires 100% of my attention. Eloise is quite capable of playing by herself but it has to be her idea which it never is when I need to get something done. There are always many questions requiring answers and things that she needs help with, right this moment. I have resigned myself to working only during naps and when both kids are finally asleep, but by the end of the day I find myself pretty burnt out. Mostly from the preparation of food.
What's missing from this rant? Me. And Chris. And Chris and me. I know these are the days I will look back on with fondness, but in the throes of motherhood I feel like I'm just moving forward.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Friday, August 29, 2014
Lullabye
This summer has flown by faster than any I can remember. Every day since mid-July seems to have bled into the next and I am feeling particularly guilty about working so much and letting Eloise down in the process. She wakes up with such gusto and always asks, "What are we going to do today?" It breaks my heart to too often say, "Mama has to work."
I always hope that work will take less time than it does, and I make lofty plans in my head that we will be able to head out for the afternoon, but it hasn't worked out much that way lately. In between work there is baby feeding and multiple nap times, both of which most successfully happen at home. I try to take little breaks throughout the day to play, get Eloise involved in preparing meals and caring for Spencer, but it just doesn't feel like enough. Every day she grows a little more and gets a little bigger and I am becoming so afraid of missing out on this time in her life without even knowing it.
At my wedding last weekend the bride and her father danced to Lullabye by Billy Joel. It had been forever since I had heard this song and I found myself sitting at the back of the room, weeping silently. I broke down because every lyric rang so true to this stage in Eloise's life. All of the questions and the little stories and songs she has for me every day, one day they won't be there because she will be grown and I will no longer be the centre of her universe. One day she won't have the patience to call my name until I finally answer to tell me something special.
I am struggling as I write this because it makes me so emotional. I feel like I have really let Eloise down this summer by not giving her enough of my undivided attention, by expecting too much of her and not playing as much as I should. Our business has just been growing so quickly and with Spencer's birth my attention is divided in so many directions. September will bring the relief of routine as school starts up and weddings slow down, but I have some time I need to make up to Eloise.
Eloise often asks me to sing her a song at bedtime but usually I am so tired that I can't find the words for much more than Twinkle Twinkle. In trying harder I can at least commit to a bedtime song and Lullabye may be the perfect one.
Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel) - Billy Joel
Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
I always hope that work will take less time than it does, and I make lofty plans in my head that we will be able to head out for the afternoon, but it hasn't worked out much that way lately. In between work there is baby feeding and multiple nap times, both of which most successfully happen at home. I try to take little breaks throughout the day to play, get Eloise involved in preparing meals and caring for Spencer, but it just doesn't feel like enough. Every day she grows a little more and gets a little bigger and I am becoming so afraid of missing out on this time in her life without even knowing it.
At my wedding last weekend the bride and her father danced to Lullabye by Billy Joel. It had been forever since I had heard this song and I found myself sitting at the back of the room, weeping silently. I broke down because every lyric rang so true to this stage in Eloise's life. All of the questions and the little stories and songs she has for me every day, one day they won't be there because she will be grown and I will no longer be the centre of her universe. One day she won't have the patience to call my name until I finally answer to tell me something special.
I am struggling as I write this because it makes me so emotional. I feel like I have really let Eloise down this summer by not giving her enough of my undivided attention, by expecting too much of her and not playing as much as I should. Our business has just been growing so quickly and with Spencer's birth my attention is divided in so many directions. September will bring the relief of routine as school starts up and weddings slow down, but I have some time I need to make up to Eloise.
Eloise often asks me to sing her a song at bedtime but usually I am so tired that I can't find the words for much more than Twinkle Twinkle. In trying harder I can at least commit to a bedtime song and Lullabye may be the perfect one.
Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel) - Billy Joel
Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
WAHM
When I was pregnant the question was often, "How are you going to do it when the baby comes?"
The "it" was work as much as I do and care for my children simultaneously and I said I didn't know, it would just work out. And it has, mostly. If I didn't love what I do so much I wouldn't be able to keep going the way that I do. I love knowing that I have a hand in one of the most important days in someone's life. I love being there when my clients create memories and I feel fortunate that I can put my creativity to good use. When I am not at home I never worry about Eloise and Spencer. I often feel guilty for leaving them so much and that my work takes up time that we should have together, but I never worry. My parents are dream caregivers and Chris is an exceptional Dad. In fact, Chris handles caring for both kids so well that at my last wedding he sent me a photo of Eloise in the bath, Spencer bathed and in bed. It was 6:56pm. I'm lucky if I get Eloise down by 8:30pm when I'm on my own.
The biggest struggle, I am finding, comes with the day to day. I am struggling to figure out the best way to handle endless emails, field phone calls and work on projects for clients while keeping both kids entertained, making sure everyone is fed and staying ahead of the housework. I never seem to accomplish it all in a day and if I don't write down what I need to do it doesn't happen. An entire conversation or idea gone - poof! - unless it's on paper.
What I am trying to do now, as a WAHM (that's Work at Home Mom), is not easy. My 'office' is in the middle of the living room which means shutting myself off to the needs of my children or only working when they are asleep or with my parents. My Mom & Dad often offer to help with the kids before I even have to ask, but I still run around like a crazy person trying to get it all done. These days I never sit down unless it is for the purpose of feeding Spencer or working on the computer, if I am up from my desk there is something to be done around the house. Phone calls are an opportunity to fold laundry.
Last Saturday I took on my biggest wedding to date, doing all of the planning and handling all of the decor. I handmade each sign, every piece of stationery, picked up every decor item and assembled a team to set it all up. It was a lot to take on and in the week leading up to the wedding Chris was in Toronto where he was the best man in another wedding. I spent several late nights working on seating plans, making place cards and hand lettering chalkboard signs, scared that I could not complete everything during the day with both kids underfoot. My parents assisted a lot with Eloise and Spencer and it all worked out (of course), but a crazy few weeks and made me consider what I can do to make life easier on myself. For the sake of my family it might be time to hire in a little help.
The "it" was work as much as I do and care for my children simultaneously and I said I didn't know, it would just work out. And it has, mostly. If I didn't love what I do so much I wouldn't be able to keep going the way that I do. I love knowing that I have a hand in one of the most important days in someone's life. I love being there when my clients create memories and I feel fortunate that I can put my creativity to good use. When I am not at home I never worry about Eloise and Spencer. I often feel guilty for leaving them so much and that my work takes up time that we should have together, but I never worry. My parents are dream caregivers and Chris is an exceptional Dad. In fact, Chris handles caring for both kids so well that at my last wedding he sent me a photo of Eloise in the bath, Spencer bathed and in bed. It was 6:56pm. I'm lucky if I get Eloise down by 8:30pm when I'm on my own.
The biggest struggle, I am finding, comes with the day to day. I am struggling to figure out the best way to handle endless emails, field phone calls and work on projects for clients while keeping both kids entertained, making sure everyone is fed and staying ahead of the housework. I never seem to accomplish it all in a day and if I don't write down what I need to do it doesn't happen. An entire conversation or idea gone - poof! - unless it's on paper.
What I am trying to do now, as a WAHM (that's Work at Home Mom), is not easy. My 'office' is in the middle of the living room which means shutting myself off to the needs of my children or only working when they are asleep or with my parents. My Mom & Dad often offer to help with the kids before I even have to ask, but I still run around like a crazy person trying to get it all done. These days I never sit down unless it is for the purpose of feeding Spencer or working on the computer, if I am up from my desk there is something to be done around the house. Phone calls are an opportunity to fold laundry.
Last Saturday I took on my biggest wedding to date, doing all of the planning and handling all of the decor. I handmade each sign, every piece of stationery, picked up every decor item and assembled a team to set it all up. It was a lot to take on and in the week leading up to the wedding Chris was in Toronto where he was the best man in another wedding. I spent several late nights working on seating plans, making place cards and hand lettering chalkboard signs, scared that I could not complete everything during the day with both kids underfoot. My parents assisted a lot with Eloise and Spencer and it all worked out (of course), but a crazy few weeks and made me consider what I can do to make life easier on myself. For the sake of my family it might be time to hire in a little help.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
No More Judgement
Love or hate her, Gwyneth Paltrow has a point in this week's edition of her goop newsletter.
I've said it before, Moms need to stop being so judgmental and start supporting each other more. Whether your reality is as a Mom with a 9-5, or you stay at home with your children, or work from home like I do, we are all just trying to do the best for our families. And you know what, there are different ways to parent too. So you don't always feed your kids organic and you let them watch tv, maybe you breastfed for over two years and chose to cloth diaper, it's all good. So long as your goal is raising happy, healthy, well-adjusted children it doesn't matter how you get there.
Another article (from a blog called Real Life Parenting) I came across on Facebook this week resonated with me and goes along with this whole 'no more judgement' thing. We are all guilty of pulling out our phones to zone out for a bit, even with our children in tow, but is this always so bad? I used to judge that iPhone Mom at the park, but as I've grown as a Mom I've realized that even when you are not physically playing with your children you are inevitably engaged with them. Kids demand (and deserve) our attention, and they get it, all day long. Eloise has my attention at midnight when she has to pee, has a nightmare or comes into our bed. She has my attention when she wakes up in the morning and we talk about what we are going to do that day, while I brush her teeth and get her dressed. Eloise has my attention when I prepare her breakfast and lunch, snacks and dinner, when I sit down to make sure she is eating and on car rides as I engage in endless games of Eye-Spy. Combine parenting with work and Moms deserve judgement free, kid free quiet time, even if only to check in on Instagram for a few minutes.
I've said it before, Moms need to stop being so judgmental and start supporting each other more. Whether your reality is as a Mom with a 9-5, or you stay at home with your children, or work from home like I do, we are all just trying to do the best for our families. And you know what, there are different ways to parent too. So you don't always feed your kids organic and you let them watch tv, maybe you breastfed for over two years and chose to cloth diaper, it's all good. So long as your goal is raising happy, healthy, well-adjusted children it doesn't matter how you get there.
Another article (from a blog called Real Life Parenting) I came across on Facebook this week resonated with me and goes along with this whole 'no more judgement' thing. We are all guilty of pulling out our phones to zone out for a bit, even with our children in tow, but is this always so bad? I used to judge that iPhone Mom at the park, but as I've grown as a Mom I've realized that even when you are not physically playing with your children you are inevitably engaged with them. Kids demand (and deserve) our attention, and they get it, all day long. Eloise has my attention at midnight when she has to pee, has a nightmare or comes into our bed. She has my attention when she wakes up in the morning and we talk about what we are going to do that day, while I brush her teeth and get her dressed. Eloise has my attention when I prepare her breakfast and lunch, snacks and dinner, when I sit down to make sure she is eating and on car rides as I engage in endless games of Eye-Spy. Combine parenting with work and Moms deserve judgement free, kid free quiet time, even if only to check in on Instagram for a few minutes.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Loving Colourfully
When my partner Devon and I put our heads together really good things happen. I guess that's what you call a partnership, we're just super fortunate that ours not only works, but works exceptionally well.
Last week Smitten took part in a wedding event where we were tasked to present a trend for the 2014/15 wedding season. Our trend was inspired by Kate Spade and we called it "Loving Colourfully", a spin on the Kate Spade motto "Living Colorfully". Our vision was for a striped and polka-dotted food + beverage table filled with lots of pink and green florals, fun treats and quirky yet sophisticated details. We brought a super talented florist on board, paired with a great caterer, collaborated with the best balloon guy we know and thankfully had my Mom to help us with the sewing. Although there were times when we didn't think we'd be able to pull it all together the way we wanted everything turned out in the end, not as we imagined, but better.
This Kate Spade ad served as our inspiration:
And this is how we interpreted it:
By the time set up was complete what we saw was an incredible presentation full of fun, colour and joy. It was all very Smitten and very much a product of the work Devon and I create together. Yum Yum!
Psst... want to see more? Check out these images on Pinterest.
Last week Smitten took part in a wedding event where we were tasked to present a trend for the 2014/15 wedding season. Our trend was inspired by Kate Spade and we called it "Loving Colourfully", a spin on the Kate Spade motto "Living Colorfully". Our vision was for a striped and polka-dotted food + beverage table filled with lots of pink and green florals, fun treats and quirky yet sophisticated details. We brought a super talented florist on board, paired with a great caterer, collaborated with the best balloon guy we know and thankfully had my Mom to help us with the sewing. Although there were times when we didn't think we'd be able to pull it all together the way we wanted everything turned out in the end, not as we imagined, but better.
This Kate Spade ad served as our inspiration:
 |
| {pinterest} |
And this is how we interpreted it:
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| {pinterest} |
 |
| {pinterest} |
By the time set up was complete what we saw was an incredible presentation full of fun, colour and joy. It was all very Smitten and very much a product of the work Devon and I create together. Yum Yum!
Psst... want to see more? Check out these images on Pinterest.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Every Day I'm Hustlin'
Until last week I cared for Eloise, kept up with my growing business, ran a tight ship around the house, looked after another (very) busy child, met with clients, took on creative projects and even managed to fit in work outs. Everyday I was hustling.
Last week marked the first in a long time that I've woken up without feeling mildly panicked at how to accomplish everything I need/want to in a day. I didn't rush anywhere or get flustered, I wasn't frustrated, didn't yell or lose my patience. Last week I took it slow, really enjoyed my time with Eloise, caught up with friends and worked, all quite seamlessly. With the Baby in a head down position now (or so we hope) I have been advised to stop working out in the hopes of maintaining this optimal position for delivery. My midwife has actually demanded that I become a 'couch potato' but walks on the sea wall are still permitted. That I can do.
More time has allowed me to take a good look at what my hustle has accomplished since Smitten officially launched in November. I can also see the reason this pregnancy has been so challenging - I have not had, nor taken, the time to slow down. Shifting my focus to my family and Smitten means that things are changing for the better, even if I will still be a tired, grumpy pregnant lady for a few more weeks (at which point I become a tired, but happy, new mom of two).
If I've learned anything in the last several months it's that there is no slowing me down, eight months pregnant or not. Here's a snippet of some serious Smitten hustle:
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| We produced a New Year's Eve wedding creative. |
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| Planned a romantic wedding proposal. |
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| Created the decor and styled a Star Wars themed Baby Shower. |
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| Designed a Bat Mitzvah candy bar, complete with a marquee 'L'. |
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| Showcased a table with our favourite 2014 Pantone colours, Dazzling Blue & Cayenne. |
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| And put together the best birthday party these eight year olds will ever attend. |
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Happy New Year, Indeed
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| {wedding chicks} |
Just in time for us to break out the bubbly yesterday, our New Years Eve wedding creative was featured on Wedding Chicks (which just so happens to be one of my fave wedding resources!).
Thanks, Wedding Chicks, for the awesome post! We're pretty jazzed about being able to do what we do for our amazing clients and producing something spectacular like this shoot with other talented people is just another reason why I really, really love my job.
For the full feature click here. What a great way to finish off the year!
PS. Does that Officiant look familiar? That's because it's my brother Thomas, who saved the day last minute when one of the models cancelled. T, you're the best.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Completely Smitten
The last few weeks have been a blur. We've been working on a rebrand for months now and last week Smitten Events finally launched with our new website and Facebook page. Getting all of our social media up and running was the most time consuming part of our launch but it was so worth it. The results are stunning and our new brand is so totally us.
In the midst of our launch we have been preparing for a New Years Eve creative shoot with a very talented group of event industry people. The shoot took place today and I am once again blown away by what we create... Devon & Robyn, we make a stellar team. The amazing Jamie Hodge of Jamie Lauren Photography captured everything and I know that her eye for detail will make the work we put into styling really shine. I feel blessed to have collaborated with so many incredible people today, thank you to Denise Elliott Makeup Artistry, Celsia Florist, Love by Phoebe (such beautifully detailed stationery), Anna Elizabeth Cakes, Partyskirts (co-founder Lauren was our stunning bride!), Blush Bridal, The Tux Store, Chair Decor (those black & gold polka dot linens are perfection) Pedersen's Rentals, Salmons's Rentals (how modern is a black ghost chair?) and our crew of gorgeous models. What a day!
A few snapshots I took while we worked:
And could this photo be more swoon-worthy? Jamie, you out did yourself!
Tomorrow we are at it again with another Smitten event. This time, a gathering for 40 at our local bistro-fave, The District, in celebration of Smitten's launch and to toast our industry colleagues before the Professional BC Wedding Awards. Tired as I feel right now, I can't wait to roll out the 'pink' carpet for our party tomorrow evening!
The rest of the week is busy with a long list of preparations as Saturday morning we leave for a week in Cabo San Lucas. Ole! Now, I wonder where I can find tiny pink water wings for my little mermaid in November?
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Good Mom, Bad Mom
Last week was quite possibly one of the most harried I have had in a very long time. Mornings were spent rallying between Eloise and my makeshift office (aka my computer on the desk in our living room), rushing off to pick up Molly, then heading straight to events in the evenings. Eloise's crankiness and demands from being sick and my exhaustion were not compatible.
Last week was definitely not one of my shining moments as a mom week but I feel like I am slowly redeeming myself. We had a tv free day at home yesterday, I made the most perfect Julia Child-esque omelette for lunch, and even restocked the fridge. Today went to gymnastics and music, came home for a two and a half hour sleep, had lunch at the table and I made a pot of chicken and rice stew for dinner. Eloise said, "Mama cut a leek," unprompted while watching me prepare dinner from her favourite vantage spot on the counter. Not bad for a child who's just come off a few-day stint of Mary Poppins and Eloise at the Plaza on repeat.
But want to take a guess what she ate for dinner? It wasn't the stew I prepared with organic veggies and chicken. It was yogurt. At least it was Greek.
Friday, January 18, 2013
In Defense of Television
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| Saturday morning soccer with Daddy isn't so bad, right? |
By the end of a very busy day all I want is to do is watch TV. The funny thing about this is that up until last year we didn't even have cable.
So here I am, a formally anti-tv person, with a very full PVR. It doesn't help that January's line up is just excellent: a new season of Girls, Californication, my guiltiest pleasure Dance Moms, and then there's Modern Family, Up All Night, and a nightly episode of Chelsea Lately.
I can't help but defend television now that I am a reformed TV watcher but I am struggling to find the balance of what's okay when it comes to Eloise. I am not afraid to admit that TV lets me get work done in the mornings; a few episodes of Franklin keep Eloise happy and occupied while I answer emails, do a blog post or call vendors and clients. I know that screen time has a bad rap, but for me it's essential.
So what is the answer? Eloise didn't watch any TV until she was around a year and a half but now constantly asks for Franklin, Trains (that's Thomas & Friends), and the Wot Wots. We don't have an iPad, she doesn't have any connection to the computer, but I do wonder, does introducing her to TV now mean that I am on the way to raising a sedentary kid?
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