Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Eloise is in her crib screaming "Mama please" on repeat and it is friggen awful. She needs a nap in the worst way and my usual tricks haven't worked in the hour I've been trying to get her down so I am giving this a shot. At this point I think it's the only option.

Eloise didn't sleep last night and neither did I. She refused to take her usual nap yesterday afternoon so I caved in and put her down later. It was three o'clock by the time she went to sleep (with my dad) and we ended up paying for it all night long. It was a marathon of ups and downs, back patting, rocking, big bed cuddling and crying fits. In the end I was so frustrated and sleep deprived that I couldn't take any more and just put her in the crib and closed the door. She screamed for 45 minutes straight.

It's a constant fight between who decides and I keep having to tell myself that it is me, not Eloise who makes the decisions. Even if it kills me to hear her scream like this Chris reminds me that it's up to me to make the change. I'm trying, even if I'm crying too.

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