Just Moving Forward

There are hundreds reasons why I have more or less given up on blogging these days. There is the one year old currently climbing my leg screeching at me to pick him up, water dripping from his nose down to his knees from a recent splash in the dog's water. He has dozens of small pieces of shredded toilet paper stuck to him, and upon a closer look I can see that tiny bits of TP make a trail down the hall from the bathroom. There is the four year old who has said "Mama?" approximately 127 times since waking up this morning, asking incessantly when she can watch tv, why she cannot watch tv right now and how long it will be before she can watch tv. And if she can't watch tv, then what else can she possibly do? There is the dog who waits until the exact moment I sit down at the computer to email a client to require a water refill, then whine at the door to go out, only to bark at the door to come in and then whine at his bowl for more water.

There are the snacks, so many snacks. And breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And the cleaning up of the snacks and the breakfasts, lunches and dinners. It's no wonder I find myself existing on leftovers and bananas: no prep or clean up required. And there is laundry, mountains of it, so much that Eloise recently saw the bottom of hamper for the first time and exclaimed, "wow, I never knew there was an end!" There is a sticky residue that dusts my white kitchen cabinets and I am constantly wiping splatters of smoothie from the walls and ceiling (seriously, how did that get THERE?). And even though the dog does an excellent job catching bits during meal time, there are crumbs everywhere. Where does all the dust come from? How can it be time to clean the bathroom again? How is it possible for the glass in the front door to be that dirty? Yet I still have this unrealistic dream that my house can be company ready at all times.

Then there is my work, so much work and so little time. My inbox is constantly clogged with flagged emails requiring immediate replies but I am learning that working from home while having a mobile baby and busy child is not compatible. When they are up, they are ON and Spencer especially requires 100% of my attention. Eloise is quite capable of playing by herself but it has to be her idea which it never is when I need to get something done. There are always many questions requiring answers and things that she needs help with, right this moment. I have resigned myself to working only during naps and when both kids are finally asleep, but by the end of the day I find myself pretty burnt out. Mostly from the preparation of food.

What's missing from this rant? Me. And Chris. And Chris and me. I know these are the days I will look back on with fondness, but in the throes of motherhood I feel like I'm just moving forward.

Training

You know how they say that training a dog is actually more about training the human? I feel like this same idea applies to Eloise and sleep. Not that Eloise is anything like a dog, it's just a similar scenario.

We are now just two stickers away from a full sleep chart and all it took was for Chris and I to train ourselves not to give in. It seems so silly now that we've been struggling with Eloise and sleep for as long as we have when all it took was perseverance. Eloise still occasionally wakes up but I just walk her back to bed and give her a kiss and that's it. Or I she wakes up mid-dream and puts herself back to sleep. It's remarkable and kind of ridiculous all at the same time how simple it is.


In other news I was only up with Spencer once last night, so perhaps his sleep regression this week was just a minor blip and we can get back to normal, whatever that is.

Why Sleep?

Is there some seven month sleep regression I should know about? Because in the span of just a few nights Spencer has gone from rockstar sleeper to little terror.

Spencer is still going down without issue but for three nights in a row he has woken up less than 30 minutes later and requires an hour of bouncing to put him back to sleep. If he was just fussing I'd leave him, but his cries are the full-on, wailing-coughing cries that Eloise used to do right before she barfed. It's on nights like these that I dream of separate rooms.

It is not surprising that Spencer started waking up at exactly the same time that Eloise started sleeping. It would be silly of me to expect easy when it comes to sleep around here, right?

This is a Big Deal

Today marked the fourth in a row that Chris and I woke up in the morning for the first time since going to sleep. We were not woken up by children during the night and we did not have to share our bed either. I'm sure this sounds like any old morning to many of you, but if you have been reading this blog for a while then you know how much we have struggled with Eloise and sleep. Waking up after an uninterrupted sleep is a luxury that Chris and I have not enjoyed in almost two full years. This is a big deal.

Last week we reached a breaking point and even Eloise knew it. Her sleeping with us has gone from fine to unbearable. She used to just fit in and peacefully slumber but in the last few months her sleep has become restless and she aggressively kicks her legs on top of the covers, wakes up demanding things or nails one of us with a kick to the jaw. Chris and I have started getting more frustrated with her and each other, often arguing in the middle of the night or dealing with whining and tears. We are tired, Eloise is tired and the effect of her sleeping in our bed has gotten to be too much. 

Eloise asked the other day, "Mommy, why is it all dark under your eyes?" I explained that I have dark circles because I am really freaking exhausted (though not in those exact words...) and she noticed that it looked a little dark under her eyes too. We both agreed that the solution was sleep and Eloise suggested trying to stay in her bed all night. Great idea! The first night Eloise woke up four times and Chris and I took turns taking her back to bed. The second night it was only once and when I tucked her in again I surrounded her with peeps and dolls to keep her company. The third night she went to bed at eight and woke up at eight without so much as a peep. Same goes for the fourth night. Eloise is so ridiculously proud of herself, and we are too. 

Spencer has of course has been sleeping through all of this. He does occasionally fuss in the night but we leave him and he puts himself back to sleep. I wouldn't dream of bringing Spencer into our bed or even waking up to nurse him in the night. It might seem harsh, but this ridiculous sleep game needs to end with Eloise. 

Slowly the boxes of Eloise's sleep chart are filling up with stickers and we have promised a trip to Toys R Us for whatever she wants. Yesterday it was a monster truck and today a Frozen Anna doll, but honestly, Chris and I are so thankful to be the only people sharing our queen bed that if Eloise wants a ride-on Barbie jeep I might even consider it.

Best Christmas Ever

Our Christmas was all sorts of perfect. Eloise was full of Christmas delight and her sincere gratitude for each and every gift filled Chris and I with so much pride. She thanked the gift giver with a hug and a kiss and continuously proclaimed throughout the day, "This is the best Christmas ever!" And it was.

For months Eloise talked about the pink princess computer that she hoped Santa would bring. Her desire for this particular toy seemed to come from nowhere, then I pressed for why and it turned out she just wanted send emails like I do. Oh my little sponge! I was a bit reluctant to purchase a toy computer since cheap plastic, electronic, noise-making toys really aren't my jam, but Santa wishes trump parental objections. When Eloise saw her pink computer she did a little happy dance, clutched it to her chest, looked up to the ceiling (aka The North Pole) and said, "Oh Santa, thank you! It's my perfect pink computer!" I figured that the computer would have Eloise's undivided attention for the rest of the day but she opened up every gift with equal amounts of wonder and appreciation. Frozen was the other hit of the day and Eloise teetered around in light-up Elsa shoes from Unky T clutching her skating Elsa Barbie from my best friend, Di.

Christmas excitement proved to be too much for our youngest participant and Spencer didn't sleep for more than 30 minutes all day. But even without sleep he was his delightful self. Santa brought him a Manchester United ball (which, let's be honest, was also for Chris) and he was spoiled by our friends and family with awesome toys and adorable clothing (see navy polka dot bow tie above).

My parents - or Other Santas - surprised Spencer and Eloise with gorgeous wooden wagon that has big sturdy wheels and enough cargo space to cart two kids to and from the Papa park. We took the wagon for its inaugural journey to run errands, hauling a giant bag of dog food, diapers, baby supplies AND Eloise, no problem.

Our Christmas was lazy, fun and relaxing, filled with drinking, eating and playing with new toys. The kids were spoiled, we were spoiled and all of the prep required to get organized for the day was totally worth it. I can hardly wait for next year.

Snack Milk

Even though my use of "mommys mad face" has improved Eloise's whining slightly, she has her moments. Her whining is the worst when she is hungry, which seems to happen regardless of how organized I am. Seriously, staying ahead of Eloise's 'hang-ger' is a full time job. School days are especially bad and by the time we get home - and even if I feed Eloise snacks in the car - the whining turns into crying, which turns into me getting frustrated, which turns into Eloise and I having to take three deep breaths together.

After we both calm down nothing makes Eloise feel better than a snack milk, which is a small bottle (you read that correctly) of warm milk that she drinks lying on the couch, rubbing her eyebrow against the grain. Five minutes later all is well again, like the snack milk is the reset button. And then we eat lunch.

Santa Baby

I spent four hours at the mall with both kids one day last week so I could tackle some of my Christmas shopping. Four hours at the mall at Christmas time is bad enough, so I'm sure you can imagine how it was with a baby and three year old in a double wide stroller (which I love, for the record).

The stroller baskets were packed to the gills with snacks, toys to keep Spencer occupied, diapers & wipes, changes of clothing and on top of each hood I loaded our coats, shopping bags and an odd assortment of clothing items that Eloise insisted on peeling off. By hour three the kids were slightly cranky but I was so close to done that we had to push on. By hour four I was the cranky one and ready to go. But then Eloise noticed Santa, who we had walked past several times already, and insisted it was time to go see him.

I had planned to take Eloise and Spencer to see Santa, just not this day. I wanted them to be dressed in Christmas outfits, or at least have on clean clothing and clean faces, but opportunity knocked and Eloise decided that the time for Santa was now. I gave both kids a baby wipe wash, smoothed Spencer's hair, fixed Eloise's headband and that was that.

But, you know what, their Santa photo is absolutely perfect. Eloise was so excited to tell Santa her Christmas wish and introduce her little brother, and their faces say it all.

Enough!

By the second to last day of our vacation Eloise had recovered from her cold but had forgotten to turn her whine off. Everything required negotiation and explanation and by dinner time that day I was at my wit's end.

When we got back to our room the whining persisted and then I lost it. I picked Eloise up straight-backed, kicking and screaming, stormed into the bathroom and sat her on the edge of the bathtub. And then I yelled, really, really loudly, "ENOUGH!!" Eloise was so surprised that she stopped crying immediately and looked me in the eye, mouth agape. I explained (while possibly still yelling) why I was so upset: "We have had enough, Eloise, we have heard enough whining and complaining and now it is time to stop this so we can enjoy the rest of our vacation. You can stay in here until you settle down and then you can come apologize."

I stormed out of the bathroom as quickly as I stormed in. There was no further crying and a few minutes later Eloise came out of the bathroom, head hung low, and said, "Sorry, mommy."

Honestly, I think I scared the whining out of her. Of course we have had to deal with whining since then, but when it gets really bad I just look at Eloise with big eyes and a frown and that's usually the end of it. I'm not proud that I yelled, but it sure was damn effective. 

The Vacation that Wasn't

Imagine you're on a tropical beach. The sun is shining and warm, the white sand is the consistency of flour, the palm trees are rustling in the breeze, you've found the perfect lounge chairs under a palapa and unlimited drinks are being served to you as you read. Sounds pretty amazing, right?

Now add to this a three year old with a bad cold - the fever, sneezing, coughing, and vomiting kind - and a teething six month old who screams to nurse every two hours day and night. The three year old refuses to eat anything except for Mexican-brand frosted flakes and whines incessantly. When he is awake the six month old wants to be held and bounced. Now imagine doing this for seven straight days, this was the reality of our vacation.

Last week Chris and I took the kids to Cancun for a week to a beautiful resort on a beautiful beach. We saved up, planned our trip carefully and looked forward to our first holiday as a family of four. Our plan was to spend our days at the beach or poolside, head in around 4pm for the kids' baths and dinner. We'd put them into their jammies and pack them into the (new double) stroller with milk, then walk to one of the six restaurants where Chris and I would enjoy dinner while Eloise and Spencer slept. This plan worked exactly twice. 

For most of the week Eloise wouldn't eat anything - except of course Zucaritas. The options were basically unlimited and at any given time there were easily five meals she would have devoured at home. She would not even eat quesadillas, which I make for lunch at least twice a week, and apart from a few tomatoes she ate precisely no fruits or veggies for an entire week. Everything was "gross". I'm pretty sure she was messing with us on purpose.

Don't let that smile fool you. The Zucaritas were her 'meal' for the day.

I will admit it was bold of me to think that taking two young kids on holiday was going to be easy and even with the challenges of sickness and teething it wasn't all bad. Once Eloise recovered from her cold we were able to send her to the resort's Kids Club, which was a godsend. We dropped her off at 9:30 and checked in on her several times throughout the day, expecting her to be desperate to see us. Not in the slightest. Every time we poked our heads in she firmly said, "Please just go, Kids Club is not over yet". On the two days she was well enough to be at Kids Club (yup, just two) she was there until nearly five o'clock. We even managed to spend an awesome day at the mind blowingly, incredible Fairmont Mayakoba with my friend Robyn who was there on her honeymoon (she wanted us to come!). These were the good days. Spencer took his naps dutifully on lounge chairs in the shade while Chris and I basked in the sun. We both read a book. We got just a little bit of a tan. Chris went sailing. Eloise started eating again and the whining subsided. Everything was looking up, and then it started to rain.

At least the booze was unlimited.

Three and a Half

Eloise was three and a half in September, so I suppose we could call this her "three years, eight months and 10 days update," though that doesn't quite have the same ring.

Late or not, I find it truly remarkable each time I do one of these six month posts how much Eloise has changed. Physically she is taller, her hair is longer, even her little hands are bigger and her personality continuously blossoms as she grows smarter, funnier, more lovely (okay, and challenging) with every day that goes by.

Missing Out?

For all the years I looked after Molly she was always super sensitive to movies and television shows. She couldn't watch Disney movies because they were too scary, leaning towards Dora the Explorer or Toopy & Binoo because she knew they were safe choices. Though I never pushed it I always thought this was a little silly; when I had kids they were going to enjoy watching movies like I did as a child.

Except that Eloise is just as sensitive as Molly, maybe more so. She will not watch certain cartoons and has deemed most movies, even commercials, too scary. Since I've been through this before I know that there is no sense in pushing it, but I worry that Eloise is missing out. Like it or not, movies and tv shows are a big part of childhood pop culture and I've always felt that the kids who didn't watch missed out a bit. 

The 'thing' for every child I know is Frozen. They sing all the songs, know every scene and play Frozen in the park. Eloise just stands there. She didn't even make it though the first two minutes if Frozen before running to us, distressed. "Why was there a big snowman and why is he so scary?" she asked. Eloise's best friend Ruby is all about Frozen so we thought we'd try introducing Eloise to the movie scene by scene. It's been unsuccessful.

My final attempt of helping Eloise get in on the Frozen craze is through the music. I downloaded most of the songs from the movie and we've been singing along. Eloise now tells people how much she loves the movie and is always willing to sing a few lines from "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" I may just be a genius.

Lullabye

This summer has flown by faster than any I can remember. Every day since mid-July seems to have bled into the next and I am feeling particularly guilty about working so much and letting Eloise down in the process. She wakes up with such gusto and always asks, "What are we going to do today?" It breaks my heart to too often say, "Mama has to work."

I always hope that work will take less time than it does, and I make lofty plans in my head that we will be able to head out for the afternoon, but it hasn't worked out much that way lately. In between work there is baby feeding and multiple nap times, both of which most successfully happen at home. I try to take little breaks throughout the day to play, get Eloise involved in preparing meals and caring for Spencer, but it just doesn't feel like enough. Every day she grows a little more and gets a little bigger and I am becoming so afraid of missing out on this time in her life without even knowing it.

At my wedding last weekend the bride and her father danced to Lullabye by Billy Joel. It had been forever since I had heard this song and I found myself sitting at the back of the room, weeping silently. I broke down because every lyric rang so true to this stage in Eloise's life. All of the questions and the little stories and songs she has for me every day, one day they won't be there because she will be grown and I will no longer be the centre of her universe. One day she won't have the patience to call my name until I finally answer to tell me something special.

I am struggling as I write this because it makes me so emotional. I feel like I have really let Eloise down this summer by not giving her enough of my undivided attention, by expecting too much of her and not playing as much as I should. Our business has just been growing so quickly and with Spencer's birth my attention is divided in so many directions. September will bring the relief of routine as school starts up and weddings slow down, but I have some time I need to make up to Eloise.

Eloise often asks me to sing her a song at bedtime but usually I am so tired that I can't find the words for much more than Twinkle Twinkle. In trying harder I can at least commit to a bedtime song and Lullabye may be the perfect one.

Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel) - Billy Joel

Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
  

Seeking Ken

That joyful picture of Eloise I posted after the second night in a row that she slept in her own bed? That was basically just for show. Since then Eloise has slept through the night in her own bed precisely once, and I think it was only because she stayed up too late.

The Sleep Through The Night chart on our fridge has three stickers, just one away from a fourth-sticker treat (something little like a lollipop or a new hair bow). Eloise needs 16 stickers to earn that Ken doll and at this rate she'll be seven by the time that happens. We keep reminding Eloise that all she has to do is stay in her own bed, even if she wakes, in order to earn those stickers but she is smarter than that. She knows if she wakes up and comes into our bed we won't fight it so when I am putting her to bed now and ask her if she's going to stay there all night and she says, "Um not tonight. I'll do it tomorrow, okay mama? Is that a good idea?" Sure, but it would be a better idea if you just slept, Eloise. 

Little Ballerina

There have been plenty of great things lately, but this is just might be my favourite:

Eloise started dance camp on Monday and I'm actually not sure who was more excited. I think it may have been me. Not to sound stage mom-y or anything but I really think Eloise has the potential to excel in dance. She is musical, strong and quick to learn, she does not forget anything and is petite in all the right ways. Eloise is also really, really into it and I am all for encouraging her desire to dance. This little ballerina has something special and I can hardly wait for her first performance on stage.

First Swim

We took a very quick trip up to the Okanagan to see our Curries last weekend and just like Eloise, Spencer had his first 'swim' in their pool. It is more of a photo opportunity than anything else and a cute to see photos from both trips.

The top photo is Eloise on July 9, 2011, she was four months old to the day. This is Spencer on July 26, 2014, he is two and a half months old. Bet you can't spot the size difference :)

Dinner Disaster

Don't call us between 5:30 and 8:30pm, it is a disaster zone around here. 

Depending on Spencer's routine, come five o'clock he has either recently woken up or is waking up at precisely the time I am making dinner. Really, I should be making dinner at 4pm in order to preempt Eloise's hunger-induced meltdowns, but my heavy work schedule these days means I need every minute I can get and the late afternoon is when my Dad often takes to Eloise to the park while Spencer sleeps, meaning a few distraction-free work hours for me. My intention is always to stop what I'm doing to get dinner started after an hour or so of emails but I swear I sit down at 2pm and when I look up again it's five. 

While I try to prepare dinner and manage Spencer - either at my feet in his bouncer or in one arm and over my shoulder - Eloise is watching tv. Spencer always needs to eat shortly after waking from his nap, so whatever I have been cooking needs to be put on pause so I can feed a sometimes frantic baby. It is now past five and Eloise is getting cranky. Once Spencer has eaten it's time to get Eloise fed pronto-tonto. Chris can barely make it in the door from work before I hand him the baby or ask him to deal with Eloise so I can get back to the (joyful?) solitude of preparing our dinner.

Depending on her mood, dinnertime with Eloise is either simple or a ridiculous process of whining and bribery. If I serve chicken we're safe, if I branch out too much we are in trouble and if we don't time it right we're hooped. Baths immediately follow dinner with each of us focusing on one kid. I usually have Spencer who gets bathed in a tub in the kitchen sink. He really likes his bath and this has become one of my favourite part of our days, even if I get peed on. Chris and Eloise have fun too, but he who baths Eloise must also brush her hair. Once Spencer has been diapered and dressed I position myself at the end of Eloise's bed so I can nurse and wait for Eloise to climb in. Chris is responsible for bringing Eloise her milk and after a kiss she says sternly, "Daddy, you can go" (and then she is told sternly that is not a polite way to speak). When Eloise is finally ready she passes me her empty milk, hunkers down into her pillow and I nurse Spencer for as long as possible before he passes out. It's 8pm and both kids are asleep but we still haven't even eaten dinner.

Night Two

She did it again, Eloise slept through the night in her own bed! It was mighty early when she woke up this morning but I can't push my luck too much. 

Spencer also had a successful night, sleeping 8pm - 3:30am, which is amazingly almost eight hours. Now, if I could only figure out how to go to sleep at nine o'clock we'd be golden. 

All Night Long

Last night something miraculous happened that had me singing Lionel Richie's "All Night Long", all morning long: Eloise slept in her own bed, all night long.

Apart from having friends over for dinner last night - which is not totally unusual for us - the circumstances for bedtime were no different. We skipped bath since it was already past eight, Eloise put on jammies and brushed her teeth without argument, had her milk and easily went to sleep. All very normal.

What was not normal was that Eloise was still very asleep in her own bed when I went to get Spencer for his 1am feed, and still asleep when Spencer woke again at five. Chris took the kids this morning and let me sleep in (because he is the best) so Eloise was basically bursting at the seams in excitement to see me when I woke up.

"Mama, mama, I stayed asleep! I stayed in my own bed! And now I get a new Ken with two legs and soft hair*!"

After hugs, gushing about how proud of her I was, a round of high-fives with Chris and more hugs, I went on to explain that it will take a few more nights of sleeping in her own bed before we go Ken-shopping. Still, this is such a huge step for Eloise, you don't even know. Hoping for many more nights of Eloise sleeping in her own bed I will leave you with this...

*Eloise had my Ken doll. He has been an amputee for over 20 years and has hard hair. But he's still a Superstar.

She's Got Spirit

{lindsay skeans photography}

Eloise is a special child. She is ridiculously adorable and sweet, fun to be around and usually well behaved. She is also what I would call quite spirited. She has lots of energy, is demanding, dramatic (the whining!) and persistent. She doesn't like to sit still, which I can relate to. None of this is necessarily a bad thing, it just leaves Chris and I (oh, and you Mom & Dad) fairly exhausted by the time she is finally in bed at night.

In the past few weeks Eloise has been listening less and whining more. Her lack of listening is not only the cause of frustration at home but potentially dangerous when we are out. Sometimes Eloise's problem with listening comes from being completely entranced in whatever is going on in her head. She goes off into her own world and we can repeatedly talk to her and get no where; whatever is happening in her imagination is far more interesting than our boring questions and instructions. With all of Eloise's whining and lack of listening my new house rules are: Rule #1, no whining, Rule #2, listen.

Dinner and bedtime are when Eloise really turns on the spirit and turns off the listening. Often there is no listening of any sort, the only way we can get her to sit through a meal is by reading. As soon as Eloise is bored with sitting down she is up, running around the kitchen and down the hallway, making us 'snacks' at her play kitchen, cuddling under the table with Granby, insisting to check in on Spencer, basically anything that is not eating dinner. When it's time to get into bed she jumps on her bed as we try to get into pajamas and insists on a new set if, god forbid, we get a drop of water on her pants while brushing teeth. She whines, cries and as soon as we get into bed after a series of stall tactics she falls fast asleep.

When people ask me about Eloise's personality I usually say it's kind of like her hair - bouncy, beautiful, and a little crazy. She has a spirit about her that is uncontainable and this is part of what makes her so special. It makes me a little crazy, but it is definitely special.

First Year

Eloise's first year of preschool has come to a close and it has been remarkable to see the changes in her. She has grown taller, her hair is longer, she asks more questions, impresses us with her knowledge and has really blossomed. Eloise entered preschool this year as a toddler and has left a little girl.

The highlight of Eloise's first year of preschool is undoubtedly being with her best friend, Ruby. Every day after class I'd ask Eloise what she did and the answer was always the same: "Played with Ruby." I'd ask about what they learned, if they went outside, what songs they sang but Ruby was always the most important part. Going to school to "play babies with Ruby" was the only activity Eloise really told me about, so it's a wonder she did any learning at all.

Whenever I had the opportunity to peek into the classroom after drop off, Eloise and Ruby would be sitting on the carpet with their classmates, hand and hand, giggling. Their teacher Nancy said, on more than one occasion, "We can continue singing when Eloise and Ruby settle down," which should make me want to have a chat with Eloise about the importance of not interrupting, but I can so relate. I always had girlfriends who I was so delighted to see that I couldn't help but talking a little too much and laughing a little too loudly, and I think it is so sweet to see Eloise experiencing the same thing. Besides, she'll need to learn when to talk and when to pay attention to teachers all on her own.

This morning Eloise woke up to say, "Yay! It's a school day!" and it was sad to explain to her that we actually have a break away from school for a few months. She loved every single second of her school year so much that going to school was never a chore. She woke every school day excited to get dressed (and see Ruby) and never experienced even one minute of separation anxiety. Most of the time, Eloise ran into the classroom right past me without so much as a goodbye. She saw Ruby across the room and knew right where she wanted to be.