Wednesday, June 26, 2013

10 Years Later

Last Friday marked the official start to summer, all the kids will be out by tomorrow and it's been 10 whole years since my last days in high school. It's grad season too, so hoards of dressed up 18 year olds are traipsing around the city and all I can think is 'Am I really a full decade older than they are?' That went by really fast.

My Mom asked the other day - when I was clearly exhausted and out of patience (Moms just know) - if sometimes I wished I could go back to being a kid. Are you kidding? Of course. Back when responsibilities involved unloading the dishwasher, doing my homework, getting to dance class on time and hanging out with friends? Sure, I'll take that.

Cupcake pink for Grad, of course.

You know how when you're young and adults are always reminding you not to grow up too fast? You ignore them (teenagers obviously know better) but what you don't realize then is that one day YOU will be the adult, maybe before you know it. Real responsibility has a way of creeping up and sometimes I just don't want to go to work or clean the house or pay bills or constantly worry about keeping another human being alive. It would be nice if the end of June meant fun for two whole months again.

I will admit I have achieved everything I set out to achieve in the last 10 years (a beautiful child, an amazing husband, a career I LOVE) but then I've always been a goal setter. What I didn't know is that 10 years later I would still feel slightly caught between being the adult and being the child. I thought I'd feel like a grown up when I bought a condo, when I got married, especially when I became a mom, but honestly, I'm still waiting for the feeling to really sink in. I do all the things that grown ups do, but I don't quite feel like I've got it all figured out the way I thought it would. I still rely on my parents, make mistakes and honestly, most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm having a Britney moment, minus those pants.

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