Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Tough Times with Two

I feel like there have been more tough times than easy times with Eloise lately. She is willful and combative, whiny and stubborn, and I'm so tired of fighting it that most of the time I just feel like giving in and giving up. It is such a battle to stay patient and strong and maintain that I am the one in charge here (I am, right?). I try my best to follow through with promised repercussions for bad behaviour but I also don't want to spend my days disciplining. It doesn't help that my grouchy-pregnant self has a limited patience and a short fuse, but I do wonder how we'll make it through some days when Eloise has had a full tantrum and been put in her room three times before lunch. This always occurs on days when my to do list is extra long and work emergencies are extra time sensitive. Because she knows on these days Mommy eventually gives in. One word:TV. 

The most unreasonable part about Eloise's behaviour is that I cannot reason with her. At all. I'm aware that she is still two and not yet at that age of reason, but she is also beyond dramatic. I look forward to the day that I can sit next to Eloise and she will calmly explain to me why she looked me straight in the eye while pulling the dog's hair until he cried and then lay down on the floor and screamed. Why some days it is okay to eat dinner in your chair like a person when on others you must be spoon fed while sitting on my lap, or just flat out refuse to eat. Why it is such a big deal to take a bath, especially when we both know you will argue with me when it is time to get out. And I would especially like to know why she wakes up every night to sleep in our bed but insists on going to sleep in hers. 

On really tough days when I've yelled and threatened and put Eloise into her room multiple times, it amazes me that I am still the one she wants most of all. How am I not mean Mommy to be avoided? Not that I want to be seen like that, but sometimes it would be nice to be left alone. And on these days, even though I don't like her, I can't help but fall in love with Eloise all over again when I see this peaceful (thankfully) sleeping face. 

Even if it is in my bed. 

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