Saturday, March 1, 2014

The Right Way Down

I've mentioned my fairly consistent discomfort during this pregnancy and it occurred to me as I was lying on the couch with a heat pack to my sore ribs, again, that there are some major similarities to how I felt near the end of my pregnancy with Eloise. As I prodded around my belly trying to locate the baby's head down low I came up with what felt more like a bum, an obvious explanation of how it can feel like something is running on my bladder and bruising my ribs at the same time. I shared these concerns with my midwife at my last appointment and she confirmed that my fears could be correct and that this baby may be breech just like their sister was. I'm scheduled to go in for an ultrasound in a few weeks to confirm the position and if breech is the case I will be doing everything I can to get this baby head down.

When it comes to birth I have never been afraid. I have a strong belief in the process and in the natural abilities of my body. I am, however, terrified of having another caesarian section. My experience with Eloise's birth was not positive, it was scary. I had a pompous a**hole of an operating OB and as I had never experienced anesthesia of any sort before I was completely unaware of how my body would react. By the time I reached the operating room I was shaking in fear and my fears proved true as my spinal started to wear off around the time they pulled Eloise out. The pain was starting to become unbearable so once I saw Eloise and knew she was okay I gave the anesthesiologist the go ahead to put me under a general anesthetic and woke up in recovery a few hours later, still completely doped. The truth is, I don't remember a whole lot about those first 12 hours and it scares me to think about the same thing happening for a second time. Safety is always first, but it will take a lot of convincing and some pretty awesome medication to get me to the point of being comfortable having another c-section. 

Thankfully time is still on my side. In the last few days I have had a ton of movement but no rib pain which I can only hope means that baby is in the process of getting cozy with their head down. If the ultrasound confirms a breech baby I really will try everything: external cephalic version, acupuncture, head stands, moxabustion, voodoo, hell, give me all of it, I want this kid the right way down.

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