Snack Milk

Even though my use of "mommys mad face" has improved Eloise's whining slightly, she has her moments. Her whining is the worst when she is hungry, which seems to happen regardless of how organized I am. Seriously, staying ahead of Eloise's 'hang-ger' is a full time job. School days are especially bad and by the time we get home - and even if I feed Eloise snacks in the car - the whining turns into crying, which turns into me getting frustrated, which turns into Eloise and I having to take three deep breaths together.

After we both calm down nothing makes Eloise feel better than a snack milk, which is a small bottle (you read that correctly) of warm milk that she drinks lying on the couch, rubbing her eyebrow against the grain. Five minutes later all is well again, like the snack milk is the reset button. And then we eat lunch.

Three and a Half

Eloise was three and a half in September, so I suppose we could call this her "three years, eight months and 10 days update," though that doesn't quite have the same ring.

Late or not, I find it truly remarkable each time I do one of these six month posts how much Eloise has changed. Physically she is taller, her hair is longer, even her little hands are bigger and her personality continuously blossoms as she grows smarter, funnier, more lovely (okay, and challenging) with every day that goes by.

Missing Out?

For all the years I looked after Molly she was always super sensitive to movies and television shows. She couldn't watch Disney movies because they were too scary, leaning towards Dora the Explorer or Toopy & Binoo because she knew they were safe choices. Though I never pushed it I always thought this was a little silly; when I had kids they were going to enjoy watching movies like I did as a child.

Except that Eloise is just as sensitive as Molly, maybe more so. She will not watch certain cartoons and has deemed most movies, even commercials, too scary. Since I've been through this before I know that there is no sense in pushing it, but I worry that Eloise is missing out. Like it or not, movies and tv shows are a big part of childhood pop culture and I've always felt that the kids who didn't watch missed out a bit. 

The 'thing' for every child I know is Frozen. They sing all the songs, know every scene and play Frozen in the park. Eloise just stands there. She didn't even make it though the first two minutes if Frozen before running to us, distressed. "Why was there a big snowman and why is he so scary?" she asked. Eloise's best friend Ruby is all about Frozen so we thought we'd try introducing Eloise to the movie scene by scene. It's been unsuccessful.

My final attempt of helping Eloise get in on the Frozen craze is through the music. I downloaded most of the songs from the movie and we've been singing along. Eloise now tells people how much she loves the movie and is always willing to sing a few lines from "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" I may just be a genius.

She's Got Spirit

{lindsay skeans photography}

Eloise is a special child. She is ridiculously adorable and sweet, fun to be around and usually well behaved. She is also what I would call quite spirited. She has lots of energy, is demanding, dramatic (the whining!) and persistent. She doesn't like to sit still, which I can relate to. None of this is necessarily a bad thing, it just leaves Chris and I (oh, and you Mom & Dad) fairly exhausted by the time she is finally in bed at night.

In the past few weeks Eloise has been listening less and whining more. Her lack of listening is not only the cause of frustration at home but potentially dangerous when we are out. Sometimes Eloise's problem with listening comes from being completely entranced in whatever is going on in her head. She goes off into her own world and we can repeatedly talk to her and get no where; whatever is happening in her imagination is far more interesting than our boring questions and instructions. With all of Eloise's whining and lack of listening my new house rules are: Rule #1, no whining, Rule #2, listen.

Dinner and bedtime are when Eloise really turns on the spirit and turns off the listening. Often there is no listening of any sort, the only way we can get her to sit through a meal is by reading. As soon as Eloise is bored with sitting down she is up, running around the kitchen and down the hallway, making us 'snacks' at her play kitchen, cuddling under the table with Granby, insisting to check in on Spencer, basically anything that is not eating dinner. When it's time to get into bed she jumps on her bed as we try to get into pajamas and insists on a new set if, god forbid, we get a drop of water on her pants while brushing teeth. She whines, cries and as soon as we get into bed after a series of stall tactics she falls fast asleep.

When people ask me about Eloise's personality I usually say it's kind of like her hair - bouncy, beautiful, and a little crazy. She has a spirit about her that is uncontainable and this is part of what makes her so special. It makes me a little crazy, but it is definitely special.

First Year

Eloise's first year of preschool has come to a close and it has been remarkable to see the changes in her. She has grown taller, her hair is longer, she asks more questions, impresses us with her knowledge and has really blossomed. Eloise entered preschool this year as a toddler and has left a little girl.

The highlight of Eloise's first year of preschool is undoubtedly being with her best friend, Ruby. Every day after class I'd ask Eloise what she did and the answer was always the same: "Played with Ruby." I'd ask about what they learned, if they went outside, what songs they sang but Ruby was always the most important part. Going to school to "play babies with Ruby" was the only activity Eloise really told me about, so it's a wonder she did any learning at all.

Whenever I had the opportunity to peek into the classroom after drop off, Eloise and Ruby would be sitting on the carpet with their classmates, hand and hand, giggling. Their teacher Nancy said, on more than one occasion, "We can continue singing when Eloise and Ruby settle down," which should make me want to have a chat with Eloise about the importance of not interrupting, but I can so relate. I always had girlfriends who I was so delighted to see that I couldn't help but talking a little too much and laughing a little too loudly, and I think it is so sweet to see Eloise experiencing the same thing. Besides, she'll need to learn when to talk and when to pay attention to teachers all on her own.

This morning Eloise woke up to say, "Yay! It's a school day!" and it was sad to explain to her that we actually have a break away from school for a few months. She loved every single second of her school year so much that going to school was never a chore. She woke every school day excited to get dressed (and see Ruby) and never experienced even one minute of separation anxiety. Most of the time, Eloise ran into the classroom right past me without so much as a goodbye. She saw Ruby across the room and knew right where she wanted to be.

Eloise Language

"Slimantucka. You know what that means Mama? It means I'm a great climber."

Eloise has been using her own made up words a lot lately. I don't know what inspires her but I am enjoying this introduction into her imagination, even when I have no idea what she is talking about. Eloise has been using her made up language as she plays, an activity that has suddenly become much more independent. She hosts grand conversations between her Playmobil, dolls and Barbies, making up obscure names and interesting words. She's taken to crawling into the space between our tv console and living room chair with her Playmobil animals and a selection of odds and sods, engaging with her toys and playing quietly for an hour. It's all quite fascinating.

Here is a snippet of Eloise's language:

Mantale - "A good cooker"

Escapoling Margrite Dudy - "Legs in the front"

Gido - "A kind of animal the crawls; it goes 'rar' and wears headbands" 

Naninja - "That's a shadow"

Rainp - "A type of fish that peoples take home and put in a fish tank"

Bainy - "A friend"

Eloise doesn't seem to repeat her invented words more than once, but this just means there is something new brewing in her imagination. With a language like these I'd say we're one step away from Elvish.

Straight Hair

"Mama, I wish I had straight hair." 

I know that little girls become aware of their appearance at a young age but I did not expect Eloise to be thinking about this at three. In fact, I was a little stunned. I've never even given a thought to what Eloise thinks about her hair or how it looks, it's just part of her. My response was that her curly hair is special and it's just one of the things that makes her unique. Eloise's curly hair is so beautiful that we are repeatedly stopped everywhere we go so that people can compliment her. But maybe that's the problem. 

I've read articles about how society needs to move away from constantly praising little girls for their looks and focus instead on things like their interests and intelligence, but it's a hard habit to break. Little girls are pretty and they are often dressed in pretty things. It's also not an easy thing to engage with a girl you don't know well about what their favourite subject at school is. 

Furthering my conversation with Eloise I managed to get some answers as to why she has decided she's over the curly. "I just want to have straight hair like you and Ruby." Okay, so maybe it's not quite society's fault after all. 

Eloise by Lindsay Skeans Photography

My best friend, Lindsay, is not only one of my favourite people, she also is a super talented relationship photographer.

Linds often packs her camera along when we she visits from Calgary and even if we're just hanging out casually at home she manages to capture the most beautiful photos of Eloise every single time.

Lindsay's most recent masterpiece of our gorgeous girl blew me away.

 

I love seeing how Eloise has changed through Lindsay's photographs from the past three years. 

{six weeks}

{one year}

{summer 2013}

{christmas 2013}

We are so lucky to have you in our lives, Linds, thank you for all the memories you've captured.

And lucky for you, Lindsay Skeans Photography will be in Vancouver a few times during the summer, a perfect opportunity to book a session for your family (or wedding, or maternity session, or headshot ... she does it all!). 

Eloise Speak: at Three

"Mama, I'm so sad my shadow is gone. I'm going to miss it."

"Oh Mommy, I sure love you. Even when you whine."

"Is Daddy never coming home?" Eloise asked.

"No, he's just working late. He'll come home later when you are asleep," I explained.

"Work when it's dark? Whaaat? That's ridiculous."

 
"Mom, it's super boring in here."

"Let's just bask in the sun."

"My favourite flavour is pink," Eloise told us.
"What does pink taste like?" we asked.
"Strawberries and guinea pigs."

"Did you grow that baby?" Eloise asked a friend with a new baby.

"Mommy, you're just the best stroller pusher."

"Mama I hear Ralphy barking. He wants me to come to his house. Sorry Ralph, I can't come play, I'm sleeping!"

"Goodnight neighbourhood, Dove! Sleep well!"

"Eloise will you please try your soup?" I requested.

"Okay, okay, I'll try it, Mama. Don't panic."

Bad Bribery

I know that bribery is not good parenting yet I rely on it heavily these days. When you're parenting a willful preschooler is bribery not the only thing that really works? If there is a better option, someone, please enlighten me.

I find myself bribing Eloise to do the normal things that she used to just do. "If you promise to eat all of your breakfast you can watch tv," or "If you don't whine while we do ___ I'll give you a treat." The problem with bribery maybe isn't the bribing itself but what I use to bribe (ahem food and tv) that makes it bad. I know I shouldn't reward with food but who doesn't love a cookie for a job well done, even if I am rewarding otherwise normal behaviour. Eloise also responds exceptionally well to the dreaded "1-2-3" countdown, which is basically a bribe, and it's been so effective that I can't remember the last time I actually got to three and had to come up with an "or else."

It's not unusual for parents to bribe for everything from good to learned behaviour, like potty training. When Eloise was potty training we used M&Ms as a bribe and it worked like a charm. The next level of bribery will start as soon as the baby arrives in an effort to get Eloise to stay in her own bed. I'm going to try a sticker chart that will earn a reward once complete and currently, Eloise seems to be on board with this. She has even announced that her reward is going to be a Barbie. Kid, if you sleep in your own bed all night for a full week I will even drive you down to Target in Bellingham where they have an entire Barbie department.

Maybe bribery isn't all bad, maybe it's just parenting?

Shower Power

All it took was a $70 shower head and we're back to a pleasant bath time routine. Chris and I have been meaning to purchase a new shower head for a while now, maybe even since E was a babe, as having the option of a detachable shower head makes bathing little ones so much easier. It also makes cleaning the shower easier and it's no secret that I like my bathrooms sparkly clean. 

The new shower head has a stationary rain head and a detachable wand that fits inside when not in use. It's not a fancy fixture by any means but it works well and Eloise is so excited about being able to control the wand herself that she doesn't seem to notice the drain. Since Chris installed the shower head last week we've gotten bath time - or rather shower time - down to a quick 10-minute process. Clean hair, clean kid and no arguing, who knew it was the power of the shower that would get us here. 

Three

Photo by Christie Graham Photography

Sticky

Eloise is constantly sticky, or so she tells us. In actuality she is a hand washing-happy kind of kid and her perceived stickiness is becoming a bit of a problem.

Eloise complains about being sticky approximately 30 times a day. She is sticky from eating cereal for breakfast, sticky after washing her hands, sticky when snacking on fruit and sticky as she helps me prepare dinner. What I think she confuses for stickiness is actually dampness - the way your hands are never 100% dry after using a hand towel - but try explaining that to an irrational three year old. Eloise's obsession with being, or rather not being, sticky is driving. me. crazy. 

My mom suggested sprinkling corn starch or baby powder onto just washed and dried hands to soak up any remaining dampness. After hearing "I'm sticky," and nearing my breaking point I remembered this trick and frantically searched for corn starch in my baking supplies. I didn't find any so I used baking soda. Then Eloise's hands were scratchy. 

Twirly Dress

Now THIS was a twirly dress.

I now have some insight into how my Mom must have felt for all those years I refused to wear pants. I was a dress girl, the pouffier, the twirlier, the better, and now I have a dress girl. More specifically, a twirly dress girl.

For the past four mornings Eloise and I have argued as I plead with her to work with me on getting dressed. She gets all huffy as she demands a twirly dress, definition still slightly unknown, and as it happens we currently do not have enough of this particular dress style to get us through the week. Pants are no longer an option, skirts aren't either, and I can forget about suggesting a jumper. No, at the moment, Eloise must wear a dress with some twirl.

At my wits end a few days ago I called my Mom to ask for her guidance. "How on Earth did you deal with me when I was like this, Mom? This is ridiculous!"

"Have you tried a tutu underneath? You wore a crinoline under everything for years." she remarked.

"Yes, and she won't have any of it. I'm starting to lose it, we were supposed to be out of the house an hour ago."

She laughed. "Sorry, I'm not laughing because it's funny, I'm laughing because this is exactly what I went through with you."

Ah, history repeats itself. Or is this just called payback?

Dear Eloise

Dear Eloise,

Just like that, you are three. Tonight after dinner you performed a repertoire of song and dance for us and as I watched you I kept thinking, "who is this incredible little girl?" You are no longer a baby, you are your own person with your own ideas, your own desires and nothing but determination on how to get what you want. Sometimes your willfulness makes me mad, but you always impress me by taking the time to apologize later - even when it isn't necessary - and in doing so remind me that I need to try harder to be more patient. You test me daily but I think it is because there is so much of my own personality in you.

Today we celebrated your third birthday with a party for you and your best friend Ruby. You girls are such a pair and your party was the perfect combination of both of your personalities. You both have grown so much since starting preschool six months ago and I'm thankful to have been there to watch you become more confident and more independent together. There is something truly remarkable about having a best friend and it is my hope that this is just the beginning for you girls.

The year ahead is going to bring many changes but I know that you are up for it. You are going to be a wonderful big sister and if the kind and gentle way you care for Baby Emma and your peeps is any indication, I know you are going to be a big help too. But no matter how big a girl you are, no matter how much I expect and rely on you, you are always, always going to be my baby.

I love you,
xoxo Mama

Scary Things

When you're not yet three there are things that are inexplicably scary. For Eloise these things are currently public toilets (here she has a point), hand dryers and the bathtub drain. Put them together and we have a bit of a problem; a child that will not pee or wash her hands when we're out of the house and one who now refuses to take baths. I'm not sure what it is that has caused these fears or what I can do to help, but it's making things really difficult.

Eloise was recently so opposed to using the bathroom at Science World that just before we left, after a full day of exploring and fun, the warm, soothing feeling of the water table finally set her free. Without a doubt it was a traumatic experience - the only thing Eloise hates more than public bathrooms is being wet - but unfortunately it didn't end up as the learning experience I had hoped by encouraging her to just go when she has to go. And hand dryers? Well, those are basically air filled torture chambers that cause Eloise to shake in fear.

The bath thing has gotten pretty bad. It's true we have a noisy tub drain, but we always offer to pull Eloise out before releasing the water so as not to scare her with the sound. Lately there has been no getting her into the tub without an all out tantrum, including big tears and gaspy-sobs, so I feel like pushing the bath just isn't worth it. I know Eloise will survive without a bath for a few days but my fear is that her curls will eventually mat into one giant clump without washing. If I've learned anything about curly hair it is that you do not brush it dry. 

Tonight I tried something new at bathtime and filled the tub with bubbles, popped in a pink bath bomb to tint the water and climbed in with all her bath toys. Surely a pink bath with mommy would be the solution? Eloise was into it for about five minutes but by the time I started the actual bathing process she had one foot our of the tub and was screaming for Chris to come help. I had no choice but to enjoy a very pink bubble bath all by myself. Not the worst thing for me to do after a long weekend of work but we're no closer to a clean child.